Hi, y'all brothers and sisters, I'm very sorry to tell you that Deacon Jones couldn't get here
But he told me to tell all you brothers and sisters to be happy, that's what counts

Brothers and sisters and sisterettes
Deacon Jones sends his deepest regrets
To the members of the flock who are new around here
There's somethin' 'bout the Deacon that I want to make clear

Now, who's honored and respected? (Deacon Jones)
Uh-huh, and who's always been protected? (Deacon Jones)
And when a sinner's moanin' low
Who will listen to his tale of woe?
Lordy Lord Hallelujah, Deacon Jones

Now who's handsome and good lookin'? (Deacon Jones)
Uh-huh, uh-huh, and who is it that can smell a rooster cookin'? (Deacon Jones)
Yes, yes. And who gets all the chicken breast
And leaves the giblets for the rest?
Lordy Lord Hallelujah, Deacon Jones

Deacon Jones (Oh Deacon Jones)
Deacon Jones (Oh Deacon Jones)
Lordy Lord Hallelujah, Deacon Jones

Now who's the first at church on Sunday? (Deacon Jones)
Uh-huh, and who's the last at work on Monday? (Deacon Jones)
Yes, yes. And all the balance of the week
Who is it that goes fishin' down the creek?
Lordy Lord Hallelujah, Deacon Jones
Who takes up all the contribution? (Deacon Jones)
Uh-huh, uh-huh, and who attends to the distribution? (Deacon Jones)
Yes, yes. And before the dough is spent
Who is it that takes out his ten percent?
Lordy Lord Hallelujah, Deacon Jones

Deacon Jones (Oh Deacon Jones)
Deacon Jones (Oh Deacon Jones)
Lordy Lord Hallelujah, Deacon Jones

Now who is it that will keep a sister singin'? (Deacon Jones)
Yes, yes, and who will keep her phone a-ringin'? (Deacon Jones)
Mhm, and when she's left alone at night
Who will help her see the light?
Lordy Lord Hallelujah, Deacon Jones

Now who does all the sisters pray for? (Deacon Jones)
That's right, that's right. And who does all the husbands lay for? (Deacon Jones)
Yes, yes, and when her husband sets a trap
Who is it that always beats the rap?
Lordy Lord Hallelujah, Deacon Jones

Hey, Deacon Jones (Oh Deacon Jones)
Deacon Jones (Oh Deacon Jones)
Oh Lordy Lord Hallelujah, Deacon Jones
Hey, Deacon Jones (Oh Deacon Jones)
Deacon Jones (Oh Deacon Jones)
Oh Lordy Lord Hallelujah
Lordy Lord Hallelujah
Lordy Lord Hallelujah, Deacon Jones