[Verse 1]
And the sign says "Long-haired freaky people need not apply"
So I put my hair up under my hat and I went in to ask him why
He said, "You look like a fine outstanding young man, I think you do"
So I took off my hat, I said "Imagine that, huh, me working for you"

[Chorus]
Signs, signs, everywhere there's signs
Fucking up the scenery, breaking my mind
Do this, don't do that
Can't you read the sign?

[Verse 2]
And the sign says "Anybody caught trespassing will be shot on sight"
So I jumped the fence and I yelled at the house
"Hey! What gives you the right
To put up a fence and keep me out
Or to keep Mother Nature in?
If God was here, He'd tell it to your face
Man, you're some kind of sinner"

[Chorus]
Signs, signs, everywhere there's signs
Fucking up the scenery, breaking my mind
Do this, don't do that
Can't you read the sign?
[Bridge]
Oh, say now, mister, can't you read?
You got to have a shirt and tie to get a seat
You can't watch, no, you can't eat
You ain't supposed to be here

And the sign says "You got to have a membership card to get inside"
Unh!

[Verse 3]
And the sign says "Everybody welcome, come in, kneel down and pray"
But then they passed around a plate at the end of it all
And I didn't have a penny to pay
So I got me a pen and a paper
And I made up my own fuckin' sign
I said, "Thank you, Lord, for thinking about me
I'm alive and doing fine"

[Chorus]
Signs, signs, everywhere there's signs
Fucking up the scenery, breaking my mind
Do this, don't do that
Can't you read the sign?

Signs, signs, everywhere there's signs
Fucking up the scenery, breaking my mind
Do this, don't do that
Can't you read the sign?