[Verse 1]
Here's a story of an honest man losing religion
Climbing the pulpit steps before an eager congregation
While praying came a wicked inspiration
Brothers, sisters, this is what he said

[Chorus]
Dearly beloved, dearly beloved, dearly beloved
Make no mistake, despite our traits, I've seldom seen
I can't relate to you
I can't relate to you

[Verse 2]
He was the kind of guy who'd always go right out of his way
But more before the crazy notion leapt right into his head
And stubbornly crept into every mad perception
I can't deny a funny feeling when he said

[Chorus]
Dearly beloved, dearly beloved, dearly beloved
Make no mistake, despite our traits, I've seldom seen
I can't relate to you
I can't relate to you

[Hook]
Dearest in memoriam, set phasers to stun
And grab yourself a neighbor's skeleton to lean upon
Did you know him in life, one filled with regret?
So soon we all forget we ever met
Do you know my name?
Sing a light refrain
For a man estranged
I won't deny that I'm inclined to isolate

[Chorus]
Dearly beloved, dearly beloved, dearly beloved
I can't believe
I can't relate to you, I can't relate to you
I can't relate to you, I can't relate to you