Neighbors: Nobody loves you like we do
Neighbors, your government has triumphed in finally making you a public fit for the 21st Century
Never before has a governing body shown so much concern for the economic well-being of it's subjects!

Today we have insulated you from countless factions who threaten your financial viability;
Such as the poor
The idealistic foreigners still clinging to their
Childish notions of social welfare

Why, you're even kept uninformed of useless propagandist journalism that reports alleged violations of human rights
(We all know they wouldn't have been punished if they hadn't been doing something wrong!)
And who better to dispense such blatantly evident factoids but a self-appointed authority like myself?

Acid rain is a thing of the past
Too many possible causes, too little significance for our modern thinking public!
Besides, industrial manufacturing is at an all-time low anyway
Who needs those Narrow minded laborers?
Too many mouths to feed, ha ha
And too much burden on the payroll!
Who needs them here in the land of the free time?!
Some other ass-backward country will give us what we need by exploiting it's uneducated children anyway!

The Internet has expanded our ability to pacify average Americans better than ever;
By offering fantastical adventures to every corner of the imagination
Your home office is the window to your world
And the heart of your social life!
Such reclusive behavior helps clear the roads and public works
From overburden like the lower middle class and others who depend shamelessly on their government
Today you are freer than ever to do what you want, provided you can pay for it!
Remember, the first word in U.S.A is "us"!
We have arrived, neighbors; We are the privileged elite!