[Princess Peach]

Mother, Father, this is my boyfriend Mario.

Chimes play

[Queen]

Charmed to finally meet your acquaintance, Mario-- oh!, Did a pig shit out a dead fetus in here?

[Mario]

Sniffs

Oh-ho-ho! I beg-a your forgiveness. I come-a here through the sewer line.

Chimes play

[Princess Peach]

Mario's a plumber.

[King]

So he commutes through human waste?
[Princess Peach]

And he's Italian.

[King]

Oh, okay. Say no more.

Chimes play

Cut to the Royal Living Room, Mario searches for something in a sofa

[Queen]

Did you lose something, Mario?

[Mario]

Hey, hey! I-a found-a one! [Holds up a coin]

[Queen]

Gives sarcastic chuckle

Yes, in OUR sofa.
Mario puts the coin in his pocket

[King]

And there it goes.

Cut to the Royal Dinner Room

[Mario]

So I says, "Aye, paisan, toilet paper and-a paper towels-- They ain't the same thing!" [Laughs]

[Queen]

Sarcastically

Mmm, another clogged toilet story. What a delightful compliment to our mushroom soup.

[Mario]

Mushrooms?! Ay-yi-yi! [Sneezes]

Mario grows bigger

[Princess Peach]
Remind me to bring mushrooms on our honeymoon.

[Mario]

I'm so sorry. I have a few allergies.

Mario slides towards the wall and bumps into a flower

[Mario]

Mama mia! Flowers! [Sneezes]

Mario turns into Fire Mario and starts to sneeze fireballs. One hits the drapes, and one the Queen's dress.

[Queen]

Oh! My drapes! My meat drapes!

[King]

Both equally dusty.

[Mario]

Ay-yi-yi! [Sneezes]

When sneezing, he accidentally bumps into a Koopa shell which bumps into three blocks. We then hear the Game Over music as the castle goes under, then cut to static.