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Don’t Flop

"Lunar C and Matter vs Eddie P and Frisko [Round 3]"

[Eddie P and Frisko]
Yo, let’s get it real, these two Yorkshire puddings won’t mash up the mix
They’re just a couple of country hicks from out in the sticks
That suck on d**ks for Spudnik ticks
Me and Frisko are pillars of the community
We’re down with the kids
These guys are pedos in the community
They go down on the kids
I saw your Mum on the BBC in the riots the other night
It was quite a fright, I won’t lie, I actually felt tight
She was trying to make a flamethrower setting her farts alight
[?]
No, no, don’t let Lunar’s Mum play you like that
You’re no fool, she insinuated the Bradford riots a few years ago
She went down and kicked it old school!
Yo Matter, prepare to get angry
Cause I f**ked every single female member in your family
And Lunar, I feel like a really horrible bother
Cause at the moment, I’m cheating on your Mum with your Mum’s mother
What, you’re with Lunar’s gran, his Mum’s mother?
I’m supposed to be her one and only lover
She’s playing us off each other!
We’ll make the b*t*h suffer
You stick her minge in the grill
And you crack her head off t’cooker!
And after that, I’m gonna go to Matter’s Mum’s and jizz on her boat
Then I’ll shove her sh*t in her throat
And right before I leave, I’ll take a p*ss in her coat!
Both of youse need to put the child porn down
And you need to get over that eye-of-the-storm crown
And Lunar, after this, get on some keen b*t*hes
But first, sort your lobe out, bro, cause it needs stitches
Don’t try and claim you’re rogue with that lobe, I don’t think so
You ain’t blaggin’ me bro, you’re blatantly an emo
Hip-hop’s your alter ego
And Matter looks like a pedo who’s going through chemo
“Yo, it’s real Matter, I’m reppin’ real hip-hop, everyone else forgot rap”
Stop that!
I’ll strangle you with the elastic from my jockstrap
And get Lunar’s Mum to give you c*ckslap after c*ckslap
Yo, what’s it called?
MATTER’S GOIN’ BALD!

[Lunar C and Matter]
Listen, d**khead, you live in your Nan’s attic and finger her back passage
While this little wack faggot is filming it and wanking
And I reckon both of you two could fit into that chasm
Cause sh*t, your Nan’s as*h**e is as big as the Grand Canyon
Your delivery lacks passion, you’re ginger and that’s tragic
You’re thinking you’re fantastic, you’re tripping, you’ve yammed acid
Cause that don’t add up like you’ve skipped all your math classes
This is lyrical sh*t, stick to your bibbidy-bap bapping
My level of brain training method is painstaking
You just make irrelevant gay statements
Get a couple cheap laughs and reckon it’s plain sailing
I saw your last two-on-two, I know your tactics and I can counteract them
You only beat them on crowd reactions cause Manny heads hate Scouser accents
That’s why you don’t battle unless it’s in your home town
And you’ve brought your own crowd
They’ll ride d**k when you spit filler for a f**king whole round
I gave your girl a driving lesson
The gear stick was my erection
We didn’t need no Sat Nav cause I gave her all the right directions
I gave your girl a spa treatment
Inner body massage with a hard p*n*s
Cuc*mber slices in her eyes to soothe
Her facial mask was my semen
It’s such a treacherous journey through your Mother’s
Absurdly huge cervix you had to learn to walk
Before the b*t*h gave birth to you
Her vaginal cavity is like Wonderland
Every week, she f**ks about a hundred man
I was fisting that b*t*h the other day and I’m sure somebody shook my hand
And you can find him at raves hugging the speakers
Nah, lemme adjust it and tweak it
He’s unplugging the speakers and f**king the speakers
And speaking of speakers, you’re a guest speaker at classes in schools
Like “Kids, don’t do drugs, this could happen to you”
Yeah! Cause you got that blaggard swag
You look like you need a good bath or shower
To be fair, you look like you haven’t touched crack in hours
You jump on tracks and spit in patois like you’re a Rastafarian
And you look like Avid Merrion after a bag of heroin
Time

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