So long, farewell, Mr. Hopalong Heartbreak
Thanks for the kicks but I guess we’re through
Oh well, it’s been fun hitchin’ up with a psycho like you
Nice work, good job, Miss Perpetual Heartache
Hey, welcome back, ain’t you glad that you’re here
You picked a freak twice as crazy as the freaks
You had rejected as too crazy last year

Oh I picked a doozy
He’s a piece of work
I shoulda worked it out before
I been sittin’ here hopin’
That door'd re-open
But I ain’t gonna wait no more

So long, farewell, Mr. Hopalong Heartbreak
Kiss all the girls and you make them cry
Ta-ta, adios, toodle-oo , eat shit
And goodbye

Lord, but I worked and I waited
If that ain’t tryin’, I don’t know what tryin’ is
If there ever was a body that fit with mine
I know in my bones it was his
Lord, but it feels like I’m burnin'
I ain’t hurt like this since I don’t know when
And worse than the pain of losin’ that man
Is the fact that I screwed up again
Mr. Riggity-Righteous, Mr. Tiggity-Tough
Mr. Nobody-Could-Ever-Be Good-Enough
Mr. Piggity-Perfect, Mr. Friggity-Free
Mr. Holier-than-thou-could-ever-hope-to-be
Mr. Uppity-Uptight, Mr. Striggity-Strong
Mr. Long-as-you’re-right,-everyone-else-must-be-wrong
Mr. Got-no-patience, Mr. Cut-no-slack
Well, Mister, watch this butt ’cause I ain’t turnin’ back

And so long, farewell, Mr. Hopalong Heartbreak
Some other girls like to sit and cry
Not me, nosirree
I got loads of other roads to try

So long, Mr. Buddy
So long, Mr. Pal
So long from your dedicated, dominated gal
So long, Mr. Hopalong Heartbreak
Goodbye