[GIFT SHOP LADY #1, spoken]
Welcome to beautiful Hawaii!
And how are we this morning?

[JACK, spoken]
My life is a never-ending cavalcade of shit

[GIFT SHOP LADY #1, spoken]
And how can we help?

[JACK]
I need a map
I need a car
I need a map, I need a car
I need the address to the house of Tommy Korman

[GIFT SHOP LADY #1, spoken]
We can’t give out residential information-

[JACK, spoken]
Listen!

(singing)
I need a map, I need a car, I need the address
And I also need a gun!
[GIFT SHOP LADY #2, spoken]
We don’t sell guns at the airport anymore

[JACK]
I’ll take a knife
A knife is fine
I need a map, I need a car
I need the address and a knife
And most of all
I really need a fricken break…
Please

[TEIHUTU, spoken]
Maka huna hai

[JACK, spoken]
Okay?

[TEIHUTU, spoken]
Say it; maka huna hai

[JACK, spoken]
Maka huna hai

[TEIHUTU, spoken]
Aah
I bring good news
[JACK, spoken]
You do?!
Um, what… what is it?

[TEIHUTU]
Ev’ryday is happy in Hawaii, mister
Ev’ry little problem is resolved

[JACK, spoken]
Please God!

[TEIHUTU]
We got no strife
We got no stress
We just got sunshine and happiness
Yes!
Ev’ryday is happy in Hawaii, mister
So why ya gotta look so sad?

[JACK]
I need a guide
I need to go
I need a guide so I can go
And find the address to the house of Tommy Korman

[TEIHUTU, spoken]
That can be arranged!
[JACK]
I need a drink

[TEIHUTU, spoken]
Have a seat!

[JACK]
I’m also broke
And really… tired

[TEIHUTU, spoken]
Aw

(singing)
Ev’ryday is happy in Hawaii, mister
Ev’ry interaction ends with smiles
You groan and grouse
You curse your fate
Just trust Teihutu to set things straight
Wait!
Ev’ryday is happy in Hawaii, mister
You’ll agree by this day’s end
Turn around and meet my friend

[FEMALE ENSEMBLE]
Aah-aah-aah-aah-aah-aah
Aah-aah-aah

[MAHI, spoken]
Come, handsome stranger!
Come with Mahi!

[JACK, spoken]
Uh, do… do you know where Tommy Korman lives?

[MAHI, spoken]
Of course!
Mahi knows everything!

[TEIHUTU & FEMALE ENSEMBLE]
Aah-aah-aah-aah-aah-aah
Aah-aah-aah