Alright, glad y’all made it
Before we begin, I’m gonna extend a little warning to any members of my family, or, you know, if you got kids in the car- You might wanna skip this song...

3 (3)
2 (2)
1 (1)

Women wanna see me, hags wanna touch me
Bitches wanna kiss me, slags wanna f**k me
(Really?)
Well sometimes, sure, if I'm lucky
Couldn't give a heck if you fat, skinny or chubby
Ugly bitches, you can still get it
Sit upon the di-dick when you finished with the dishes
After the dinner, I’ma get up in you
Then send ya back to the kitchen to fix the kid a sammich
It's the B to the L to the T for me
Extra bacon and cheddar cheese indeed
Please move quick, keep speedy for the kid
Shoot the mayo on your back like graffiti on the bridge
Get stuffed like a turkey- Slut sucked and jerked me
Upchuck the slurpee nut bust- You thirsty?
Ooooh and it's just that raw
Funbags galore when I unlatched the bra
Good god, I'm nasty- Some come to smash
And are left spazmatic, spunk-spackling addicts
Average, though most fold with the fantastic
Motion in the ocean, when I stroke, I do a backflip
Flash them tig ol' bits if you’re feeling proud of ‘em
Your dad gon’ get mad pissed when he hear my album on
So turn it up, grab your bra, burn it up
Let the big thangs hang when I come to serve the butt
Skanky chicks in lacey linens
Naked bitches taking pictures (of me)
Braid my hair, make me dinner (please?)
Naked bitches taking pictures (of me)

I'm on the highway driving a buck-six
I ain't even late, but I sure am lit
I'll pull into your driveway, you'll get in the whip
I'll work the radio, you work the stick
It's a d**k not a joke, take it hard ya’ broad
Crash into your bandicooter, I'm a naughty dog
Ya want war? On your forehead, instead of an "N"
It'll read "J A R V", let's be friends
Squeak like a door hinge, release endorphins
Begging me to dive deep, deep in your orifice
Force is never needed, really quite the opposite
Tell me if ya want it, if you want it then I wanna get you
Breathing like a cork-pop, easily before long
She be on her forearms, greasy like oil farm
Sleazy and of course, hot- Pleading for the pork chop
Teething on the corn cob, treat me like a porn star

Skanky chicks in lacey linens
Naked bitches taking pictures (of me)
Make me dinner, then do dishes (please?)
Naked bitches taking pictures (of me)
Yeah, it's just a hop, skip and a jump
For me to come put my cock-dick in your (what?)
Umm, uh huh, I can see you're very mature
"I'm a virgin" ha, yeah sure
She back it up and I love it, I be dusting the duchess
Shimmy, shake, shiver- Leg go numb when it touches
Stuffing chicks, thunderous- Honey never have enough of this
Fuck a Succubus, call me the Bussanuffuluffagus
Every single chick that I hit, mid-grade
Give 'em dick, send ‘em off with a kiss and a mixtape
"Shit nate, you so sick, this shit's great
At this rate, you'll stick every skin in the twin states"
All the whores in the place, put the floor on your face
With your hams in my hands, get your orifice glazed
That's a double entendre- Double-bag bomber
Double-duty bubble-bath- Bubble-booty on her
Ohhh yeeuhhhh, and it sounds so sick
In Jarv's bed is where they found your chick
She's a decent woman, at least that's what she said
But she's pretty freaking indecent when she is in the bed
Yes bitch, add another ex to the checklist
Mama swear to god I operate a bed and breakfast
What can I say, a player's gotta play
Baby, whatcha doin later today? Hmm?

Skanky chicks in lacey linens
Naked bitches taking pictures (of me)
Lonely women make sandwiches (for me)
(C'mon dude)
Naked bitches taking pictures (of me)
MATURE JARV: Yo are you fucking kidding me, man?

IMMATURE JARV: What?

MATURE JARV: What do you mean what? Dude, what is this bullshit?

IMMATURE JARV: Dude, I’m just joking around

MATURE JARV: Yeah, we get it, man- You think you’re super funny

IMMATURE JARV: Dude, come on

MATURE JARV: Honestly, bro- You need to grow up, like, how would you feel if Ms. Kelly heard this shit

IMMATURE JARV: I dunno, I mean- I hope she doesn’t but like-

MATURE JARV: You’re not funny, you’re not cool, fucking get your shit together and quit acting like you’re thirteen years old, okay? Seriously, grow up

IMMATURE JARV: Okay, I’m sorry, damn