[Intro: R.A]
People say, like, y'know, you got a daughter now and a son, and don't you wanna make-- you know, music that can help people and change the world? And I said, you know, that's what I- I'm gonna dedicate my life to that, now, you know? That's why I gotta make records like THIS

[Chorus]
I've warned you about women, they're just going to make you unhappy and ruin your life!
Let's have some music
Yabba dabba dabba doo
Yabba dabba dabba doo
What would any girl want you for?
Face facts, son, you're not good looking, you're fa- you're fat
You're fat
You're such a cunt, mom
Even as a little boy nobody liked you

[Verse 1: R.A]
My dick is a biblical plague, spitting frogs and locusts
I'm like supercalifragi- fuck it, bitch suck on my gross dick
My cock's deadly, that's the medical prognosis
Doctors could use my semen as bug spray to kill roaches
I've been the world's grossest since Hall and Oates wrote hits with more ferocious explosions than rollin' with Golan Globus
I explode noses, the backhand break faces
All you pussy millennials better hide in your safe spaces
I'm an anarchist, bitch, I live for pandemonium
I urinate sulfuric acid and I shit plutonium
Sing to the chick, trickin' the trick, I'm fingerin' it, lickin' the clit, Givin' it a fit, hit it with a brick, stick it with the dick
I'm slicker than Rick, go!
[Chorus]
The dirty dick derelict, foul mouth rhetoric
Welcome to my world, bitch
Every chick that I stick, the bottom of the slime pit
Welcome to my world, bitch
The big titty snorkeler, the pimp pussy auctioner
Welcome to my world, bitch
Thumbs up, Henry Winkler, the sick clit tingler
Welcome to my world, bitch
Please go away
Please- Please- Please- Please- Please- Please go away

[Verse 2: R.A]
One day, a fine-as-wine high-class dime had appeared
She said she was an actress looking to start a career
So then I lied and told her that I was Lars von Trier
Now get your ass in here and have a beer, I grabbed the rear
I started rappin' in her ear 'n' told her I was Slug from Atmosphere
And when I said that, she swung from my dick like a chandelier
She had a longer vagina wall than the Great China Wall
I cleaned the dirty pussy with a washcloth and Lysol
The fish was more enormous than the Great White Whale Orca
If the Statue of Liberty had a pussy it'd be smaller
It was the giant mother of all twats
Her pussy lips looked like the blankets they used to give Indians smallpox
I sucked on the slob's tits, started givin' her twat licks
But her pussy was more hairier than Chewbacca's armpits
An STD came to get me riding on a Jet Ski
When she squirted, it's like the water parted in the Red Sea
The lyrics might sound misogynist, but the crabs inside her vagina were stage divin' and jumpin' in moshpits
More insects than flypaper, pussy size of a skyscraper
She uses NASA's space rockets as a vibrator, that's my word
The clit was the Titanic iceberg
So I licked it 'til it melted and the climax occurred
And the vaginal warts on the cunt started beatboxin', ugghh
Fuck it, keep the beat droppin', I'ma keep rockin'
I make the cunt cum fast, I piss nails and upchuck glass
I toss the moon at the Earth and make the Sun crash
I drink cyanide milkshakes, and I snort mustard gas
Fuck it, I ruptured the cunt, and then I sucked the slut's ass
9 months later, the Earth shook and the bedroom collapsed
She gave birth, a pterodactyl egg fell out of her snatch
And when it hatched, the dinosaur baby started kickin' raps
The pussy spit out turntables, and the baby began to scratch, go!
[Chorus]
Please- Please- Please- Please- Please- Please- Please- Please- Please- Please- Please go away
Yabba dabba dabba doo
Yabba dabba dabba doo
The dirty dick derelict, foul mouth rhetoric
Welcome to my world, bitch
Every chick that I stick, the bottom of the slime pit
Welcome to my world, bitch
The raw dog, lumpy dick, quick to stick an ugly chick
Welcome to my world, bitch
Finger fuck a feminist, these cumshots never miss
Welcome to my world, bitch
Please go aw- Please go- Please go away
I'll go away, but I'll see you again