[Verse 1]
Maybe they had a ridiculous statement to make about something they hadn't experienced
Possibly Sam had a different opinion that nobody ever considered important
And damn it, if Norman and Betty were listening, somebody would have become a phenomenal
Howling lightning tampering with the electrical evidence shown to be relevant
Possibly with the exception of ivory, everyone else had abandoned the obvious
Chipping away at erroneous garbage which definitely is as exciting as pudding
Deliciously spooned from the lap of the ludicrous into the mouths of the question-less idiots
Licking their lips as their eyeballs are rolling and flapping their tongues as they're losing their marbles

[Chorus]
That's the way Sam's played around, that's the way Sam's played

[Verse 2]
Someone who wasn't related to anyone twisted the facts 'til the truth was apparent
And dished up a dollop of dubious doo-doo that sparkled like something folks scrambled to swallow
Slipping the rich through the eye of a needle is easy as getting a camel to heaven
And granny transgressing had blubbered a bibful of classified info on Milton's imbroglio

[Chorus]
That's the way Sam's played around, that's the way Sam's played

[Instrumental Break]

[Chorus]
That's the way Sam's played around, that's the way Sam's played
That's the way Sam's played around, that's the way Sam's played
[Outro]
Maybe they had a ridiculous statement to make about something they hadn't experienced
Possibly Sam had a different opinion that nobody ever considered important
And maybe they had a ridiculous statement to make about something they hadn't experienced
Possibly Sam had a different opinion that nobody ever considered important
'Portant, 'portant, 'portant