[Verse 1]
The man laid his hat on the table
Hung his coat up on the wall
Sat down to dinner, said, "As soon as I am able
I'll say something nice to you all."
Then he took a deck from his pocket
Spread 'em so I saw 'em all
Then he turned his back to me, shuffled 'em and drew me
The card that said I never would fall

[Chorus]
Oh, Mary Lou, won't you tell me what to do?
I got a dollar on the corner and a laser in my shoe
If I don't get an answer, gonna split myself in two

[Verse 2]
He spun 'til a ton was glistening
He turned to me and gave me a smile
He said, "I'm leaving but I want what you owe me
I'll be back in a little while."
That was the last time I saw him
Hope I never see him again
And I know it sounds funny but I owe him some money
Really don't want him for a friend

[Chorus]
Oh, Mary Lou, won't you tell me what to do?
I got a dollar on the corner and a laser in my shoe
If I don't get an answer, gonna split myself in two
[Instrumental break]

[Verse 3]
The man laid his hat on the table
Hung his coat up on the wall
Sat down to dinner, said, "As soon as I am able
I'll say something nice to you all."
Then he took a deck from his pocket
Spread 'em so I saw 'em all
Then he turned his back to me, shuffled 'em and drew me
The card that said I never would fall

[Chorus]
Oh, Mary Lou, won't you tell me what to do?
I got a dollar on the corner and a laser in my shoe
If I don't get an answer, I'll split myself in two