[Verse 1]
I met a non-dairy creamer
Explicitly laid out like a fruitcake
With a wet spot bigger than a Great Lake
Took me to the new church and baptized me with salt
She told me, "liquor"
I am a new man

[Refrain]
Hot freaks

[Chorus]
This one is on the house
This one is better than ever

[Verse 2]
I walked into the house of miraculous recovery
And stood before King Everything
And he asked me to join him in the red wing
Took me to pie land
Said, "I'm a thigh man"
I will be eternally hateful

[Refrain]
Hot freaks
Hot freaks
Hot freaks
[Chorus]
This one is on the house
And this one is better than ever
And this one is on the house
This one is better than ever
This one is on the house