[Verse 1]
Her eyes were red, her name was Helen
Her head looked like a watermelon
Her hair was long, she had a tony
Her neck looked like a roll of bologna

[Verse 2]
Her taste stuck out so firm, she didn't have much sense
She could gnaw an ear of corn right through a picket fence
Her marriage license cost a quarter
On the Tennessee Border

[Verse 3]
One night I took her out, to see what we could see
Just then she saw her husband, and he stood six foot three
He had brass knuckles made to order
Now my teeth are scattered on the Tennessee border

[Verse 4]
Her eyes were red, her name was Helen
Her head looked like a big banana
She weighed so much she had some trouble
He thought that he was seein' double

[Verse 5]
He put his arm around her, and he tried to hug her
But he couldn't get close enough
'Cause she had too much blubber
She was too fat, he couldn't court her
Now she wears a girdle 'round her Tennessee border
[Verse 6]
One night I took her out, just across the line
She stumped her toe and fell, in a barrel of turrentine
Hey Earnest? (Yeah, Ray head?)
Whatever in the world ever happened
To that old man's daughter?
(Well, the last time I saw her Ray, she was headin' for)
The Tennessee border