[Verse 1: Greg]
Oh, potatoes and molasses
If you want some, oh, just ask us
They're warm and soft like puppies and socks
Filled with cream and candy rocks

[Verse 2: Greg]
Oh, potatoes and molasses
They're so much sweeter than algebra class
If your stomach is grumblin' and your mouth starts mumblin'
There's only one thing to keep your brain from crumblin'

[Verse 3: Greg]
Oh, potatoes and molasses
If you can't see 'em, put on your glasses
They're shiny and large like a fisherman's barge
You know you've eaten enough when you start seein' stars

[Verse 4: Greg]
Oh, potatoes and molasses
It's the only thing left on your task list
They're short and stout, they make everyone shout
For potatoes and molasses
For potatoes and—

[Outro: Mr. Langtree]
That's enough!