[Verse 1]
I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together
See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly
I'm crying

[Verse 2]
Sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come
Corporation tee-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday
Man, you've been a naughty boy, you let your face grow long

[Chorus]
I am the egg man, they are the egg men
I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob

[Verse 3]
Mister City, policeman sitting
Pretty little policemen in a row
See how they fly like Lucy in the Sky, see how they run
I'm crying, I'm crying
I'm crying, I'm crying

[Verse 4]
Yellow matter custard
Dripping from a dead dog's eye
Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess
Boy, you've been a naughty girl, you let your knickers down
[Chorus]
I am the egg man, they are the egg men
I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob

[Verse 5]
Sitting in an English garden waiting for the sun
If the sun don't come, you get a tan
From standing in the English rain

[Chorus]
I am the egg man (now good sir, what are you?)
They are the egg men (a poor man, made to tame fortune's blows)
I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob (good pity)
G-goo goo g'joob

[Verse 6]
Expert, textpert, choking smokers
Don't you think the joker laughs at you?
See how they smile like pigs in a sty
See how they snide
I'm crying

[Verse 7]
Semolina pilchard
Climbing up the Eiffel Tower
Elementary penguin singing Hare Krishna
Man, you should have seen them kicking Edgar Allan Poe
[Chorus]
I am the egg man, they are the egg men
I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob g-goo goo g'joob
Goo goo g'joob g'goo goo g'joob, goo goo

[Outro]
Everybody's got one, everybody's got one
Umpa, umpa, stick it up your jumper
“Villain, take my Purse. If ever thou wilt thrive, bury my Body
And give the Letters which thou findst about me
To Edmund Earl of Gloucester: seek him out upon the English Party. Oh, untimely death, death–”
“I know thee well, a serviceable Villain; as duteous to the Vices of thy Mistress as badness would desire.”
“What, is he dead?”
“Sit you down, Father; rest you.”