[Verse 1]
That old evening news is sure depressing
Well this world is in a mess and it don't get better
Terrorism's in fashion and making love can kill you
Oh but I have found a better place to go

[Verse 2]
We're all living in the shadow of the bomb
Tuned in to the lifestyles of the rich and greedy
Oh but meanwhile back in Mayberry no one says the "F" word
Thank God for the reruns

[Chorus]
On the Andy Griffith Show, Anjie's letting Otis out of jail
Gomer's helping Goober drive the nail
Oh and Barney's looking for his bullet, you better watch out for your toes
I wish life was like the Andy Griffith Show

[Verse 3]
Now they're dealing in souls on the airwaves
All them false prophets trying to make a buck
But old Floyd the barber, he just goes on trimming hair
And we ain't heard the last of Ernest T. Bass you know

[Chorus]
On the Andy Griffith Show, Aunt Bee's cooking lamb and turnip greens
Now everyone dance while The Darling's pick and sing
Yeah that Opie's digging worms to go fishing don't ya know
I wish life was like the Andy Griffith Show
[Verse 4]
Thelma Lou told Juanita to call Helen Crump
Then round up Clara and Emmett and Howard Sprague
There's a town meeting down at Andy's office
Barney's gonna try to take us all back in time

[Chorus]
To the Andy Griffith Show, the biggest hassle there was making moonshine
They sat swinging on the porch with an easy mind
Oh and maybe it was unreal but when this old world blows
I hope I end up on the Andy Griffith Show
I wish life was like the Andy Griffith Show