Well, we got James Hetfield
And we tied him up tight
Naked and cold
We kept the strip lights bright
Said what have you got for us James
He said nothing at all
So we dragged some speakers
In from the hall

James James James
Just give us names names names
James James James

Well, we tried every tune in the songbook
To loosen his tongue
We played Simply Red nonstop
He just swayed along
Then we had an idea
A new plan of attack
Thought that even a deaf man
Would bend and crack

James James James
Just give us names names names
James James James
Now look what we've brought for you James
Your favorite disc
It's Chumbawamba
Their Greatest Hits
(There's only one!)
Turned up the volume
You should've heard him sing
(Oh, how he sings)
He cried like a baby
And told us everything
("It was Lars!")

James James James
Just give us names names names
James James James