Blue-rinse sugar
Wipe-clean couple
Pinched last supper
Counting pretty penny
John Betjeman
Some dead liar
Quiet pink picture
Under heavy manners

This is tearoom England
They'll kick your face in so politely
This is tearoom England
They'll kick your face in oh so nicely

I want more!
No hurry (More!)
So sorry (I want more!)
Don't worry (More!)
So sorry (I want more!)
No hurry (More!)
So sorry (I want more!)
Don't worry (More!)
So sorry (I want)

Bite-size china
Tea or tartar
Lipstick traces
Table set to bless
Sweet charity
Lukewarm whisper
Still-life platter
Under heavy manners
This is tearoom England
They'll kick your face in so politely
This is tearoom England
They'll kick your face in oh so nicely

I want more!
No hurry (More!)
So sorry (I want more!)
Don't worry (More!)
So sorry (I want more!)
No hurry (More!)
So sorry (I want more!)
Don't worry (More!)
So sorry (I want)

No Hurry
So sorry
Don't worry
No Hurry
So sorry
Don't worry

I want more!
No hurry (More!)
So sorry (I want more!)
Don't worry (More!)
So sorry (I want more!)
No hurry (More!)
So sorry (I want more!)
Don't worry (More!)
So sorry (I want more!)
No hurry (More!)
So sorry (I want more!)
Don't worry (More!)
So sorry (I want more!)
No hurry (More!)
So sorry (I want more!)
Don't worry (More!)
(I want more!)
(More! I want more!)
(More! I want more!)
(More! I want more!)

[Outro/Interlude]
(Here's the sum that's caused many an irate housewife to write to her Member of Parliament.)
(Saturday night in Leeds!)
(Saturday night means everything to me.)
(I'd rather take drugs and have sex.)
(I always do two puddings.)
(I tell Irish jokes, I tell Pakistani jokes, I tell Asian jokes -- I'm the most un-racist person you'll ever meet.)
(She's mad-cow stupid!)
(I'm always getting my skirt pulled up, really)
(If a bloke made a pass at you, you would run a mile! After you bumped him)
(Yeah, well there we are, talking about night)
(An ordinary Saturday night -- or one to remember?)