Frank Sinatra:
Las Vegas, Nev
You know why I fly up there so often?
I go to look at money
'Cause in Hollywood, they don't use money
You just sign your name, you give the guy a little card
Then he puts it in the machine and he gives it whack
And in Hollywood, good friends like Sammy Davis and Dean Martin
Live just a short helicopter-hop from my pad
But if I want to see 'em, I have to jet me up to Crapsville
And here's livin' proof
The place, the sands, the time and a wee small amarzov

Dean Martin:
Hi everybody... yeah right
How did everybody get in our room?

Frank Sinatra:
Say, I'd to talk to you for a few minutes

Dean Martin:
Why? Am I in town?

Frank Sinatra:
Now, be serious!
Dean Martin:
I tried being serious Frank. All I could get was construction work
You know what a thrill it is to get a hernia at sixtytwo fifty a week?

Frank Sinatra:
Now, Dean...

Dean Martin:
He was here a minute ago, I'll get 'im. Hey, baby...

Frank Sinatra:
Listen, I wanna talk to you about your drinkin'

Dean Martin:
What happened, 'd I miss a round?

Frank Sinatra:
No, you didn't miss a round
I wanna about to you about the amount that you drink
Have you heard? Are you cognescent of the fact? That they are saying things?

Dean Martin:
Am I what, missin'?

Frank Sinatra:
You know what they're saying about you?
Dean Martin:
And how about you?

Frank Sinatra:
Me?

Dean Martin:
Yeah, you with that elevated suit on. Yeah, you, you, you
You shoot a pretty good stick with that bottle yourself

Frank Sinatra:
Ah, but I don't inhale

Dean Martin:
If you're gonna hit me with logic, I don't wanna chit-chat...
Let's have a drink

Frank Sinatra:
What, you are drinking?

Dean Martin:
Oh, is that my hand?
Alright?

Frank Sinatra:
What I'm tryin' to say to you is that...: "Why do you drink so much?"
Dean Martin:
I drink to forget

Frank Sinatra:
To forget what?

Dean Martin:
I don't know, I forgot that long time ago

Frank Sinatra:
You know, I figured out long time ago, the only time you don't drink, is when you sleep

Dean Martin:
Don't bet on it

Frank Sinatra:
Answer me some'n'

Dean Martin:
Question me, question me, question me

Frank Sinatra:
What is this gripping compulsion that you g... have constantly, to drink-drink-drink?

Dean Martin:
Well, Frank-Frank-Frank...

Frank Sinatra:
Why do you drink so much?

Dean Martin:
Well you see, my structure craves and needs alcohol

Frank Sinatra:
Oh...

Dean Martin:
I'm alright... My body's a drunk, that's all
You thinks they can put a little heat in this room? I'm freezin'!

Frank Sinatra:
Take your hand out of the ice bucket!

Dean Martin:
Oh

Frank Sinatra:
Tell me some'n': "You fall in the street a lot?"

Dean Martin:
It's the only time I get any rest, Frank

Frank Sinatra:
Well, what happens when you fall in the street?

Dean Martin:
I hurt myself, yes sir

Frank Sinatra:
That's not the answer!

Dean Martin:
No, you think these are cufflinks? These are curb-feelers! That how I get around

Frank Sinatra:
Take him away, take him away...

Announcer:
Sammy Davis Jr

Sammy Davis Jr:
Thank you
I would like
With your kind permission... not to sing, ladies and gentlemen, because
Who's gonna follow the jolly in the Appollotans in that department?
They sing awfully good for goyim, don't they?
Eh... I think they do

Frank Sinatra:
Goyim, goy 'm, gone

Sammy Davis Jr:
So I would like... May I, please... Would you be kind enough to give me that... hat
Thank you, very kindly
Thank you, Frank
I would like, at this time, well
That ain't Frank?
I keep tellin' you: "I can't keep one from another, man..."
They all look alike to me
And they ain't got no rhythm
We'd like to offer some impersonations of who they are

Dean Martin:
Oh, good idea, Sam

Sammy Davis Jr:
Oh, shut up!
You silly goose
And they're the best friends I have
Mister Dean Martin

Dean Martin:
This better be good buddy, or eh
Six of your friends are gonna be carryin' you by the handles

Frank Sinatra:
Six of your best friends!
And there are only two of us, that we know of

Dean Martin:
And I ain't too sure about us, boy

Frank Sinatra:
Baby

Sammy Davis Jr:
Ooh, no...

Dean Martin:
How can that be me? I'm at the bar here