[Verse 1]
On the seven seas
There was a phantom ship a-coming
Shinin' on the dead of night
I heard the crew a-hummin'
Tunes that sounded like
The Rolling Stones and Leonard Cohen
They didn't know the words
So I assumed that they was foreign
No, no

[Chorus]
But I heard them just the same
Oh doctor, let me teach 'em
I just want to please 'em, now
I said, doctor, let me teach 'em
I just want to please 'em, now

[Verse 2]
I looked up in the sky
There was a phantom plane a comin'
Shinin' in the dead of night
I heard the pilot saying
Poems that were written
By John Keats and Robert Browning
He didn't know the words
So I suppose that it was nothing
No, no, no
[Chorus]
But I heard them just the same
Oh doctor, let me teach 'em
I just want to please 'em, now
I said, doctor, let me teach 'em
I just want to please 'em, now
Hey!

[Verse 3]
Oh doctor, please believe me
I know you won't deceive me
But do these things I'm seeing
Have any hidden meaning?
It's all good entertainment
It doesn't cost a penny
But please doc, let me teach 'em
If I could only reach 'em
My, my, my

[Chorus]
And I heard them just the same
Oh doctor, let me teach 'em
I just want to please 'em, now
Oh doctor, let me teach 'em
I just want to please 'em, now