Up in the morning, work like a dog
Is better than sitting like a bump on a log
Mind all your manners, be quiet as a mouse
Some day you'll own a home that's as big as a house

I know a fella, he eats like a horse
Knocks his old balls round the old golf course
You oughta see his wife, she's a cute little dish
She smokes like a chimney and drinks like a fish

There's a big old goofy man
Dancing with a big old goofy girl
Ooh baby, it's a big old goofy world

Elvis had a woman with a head like a rock
I wished I had a woman that made my knees knock
She'd sing like an angel and eat like a bird
And if I wrote a song, she'd know every single word

There's a big old goofy man
Dancing with a big old goofy girl
Ooh baby, it's a big old goofy world

Kiss a little baby, give the world a smile
And if you take an inch, give 'em back a mile
'Cause if you lie like a rug and you don't give a damn
You're never gonna be as happy as a clam
I'm sitting in a hotel trying to write a song
My head is just as empty as the day is long
Why, it's clear as a bell I should have gone to school
I'd be wise as an owl instead of stubborn as a mule

There's a big old goofy man
Dancing with a big old goofy girl
Ooh baby, it's a big old goofy world
Ooh baby, it's a big old goofy world