[Verse 1]
Well, I once knew a man who was going insane
He let love chase him right up a tree
It took the police and a fire truck just to bring him back down
Oh, I hate it when that happens to me

[Verse 2]
It made the front page of the paper, the gossip tongues wagged
Why, they even showed it all on TV
Now if he should live forever, he won't live it down
Oh, I hate it when that happens to me

[Bridge]
Dog bites man, man loses girl
Oh, what did he ever do wrong in this world?

[Instrumental Break]

[Bridge]
Dog bites man, man loses girl
Oh, what have I ever done wrong in this world?

[Verse 3]
There once was a big buzz all over town
About a movie where the killer goes free
Now, he's got everyone's sympathy
Oh, I hate it when that happens to me
Yes, I hate it when that happens to me