You wanna be like me? You wanna soften up?
It ain't easy so you better step your game down, son!
Whatcha think you know about fuckin' up?
Take a seat, let me show you how it's not done

I can talk the talk, and avoid the walk
I can make the same choices and rely on luck
Got excuses for days that I'll defend
Gonna ride the C- till the bitter end

I scare off all my friends
I forget to take my vitamins

Life can throw anything at me
I will always react the same
Get emotional and hang my head in shame

When I get knocked down I get upset about it
When I get upset I do nothing about it
When I get put down I get obsessed about it
I ignore advice from everyone
Don't need self esteem, when your pride's enough

Cuz I suck
Got ya beat at how much I suck
I'm the WORST

You think you're just like me? You think you're born to fail?
You don't know the lost cause of this hollow shell
I'm broken as fuck, I'm damaged goods
The burned out Little Engine that Never Could

I'm a caged tiger that sits and waits
For someone to kindly open the gate
I'm the guitar that gently weeps
I'm a door mat so wipe your feet on me

I can't admit I'm wrong
I forget to call my mom

Life can throw anything at me
I will always react the same
Whine online and find someone else to blame

When I get knocked down I get upset about it
When I get setback I do jack shit about it
When I get knocked down I get depressed about it
Gonna shut the door and wish that I could die
I could off myself but I'm too lazy to try

Cuz I suck
I'm pathetic and I also suck
Smashing boundaries on how to suck
Got Self-diagnosed OCD manic bipolar personality with
ADD borderline hyperactive mood swings
Impulse control-lacking, antisocial
Histrionic narcissistic all-avoidant codependent
A.D.D.... hold on, I think I already said that

Self-loathing people hating
Way too much masturbating
Overthinking, overeating
Oversleep and drool

Cynical, critical
Randomly hysterical
Miserable
My voicemail is always full

Scatterbrained, paranoid
Chronically unemployed
Scared of phone calls
And I hate ordering pizza

Way too self-righteous
Failing every drug test
Issues with trust
And I sneeze when I'm nervous
ACHOO
Ugh, excuse me
When you ask me if I'm okay
I will dodge it relentlessly
I'll say I'm fine and I don't need therapy

When I get knocked down I get upset about it
When I get upset, I lay down and wallow in it
When I get walled in, I get cryptic about it

I'll keep doing the same things everyday
Cuz if I do, I bet things will change

Cuz I suck
I bet tomorrow that I'll still suck
My endlessly complex set of issues gives me a sense of identity
Thus I suck
No one sucks as much as I suck

ACHOO
Whew