[Intro]
Yeah, so my son sat me down he said "Hey daddy, you know what I want for Christmas?"
I said "Fuck Christmas"

'Tis the season to keep it real
And tell these mother fuckers how you feel
Put your fuckin' hands in the air
If you like me an hate this time of year

[Hook] (x2)
I don't fuck with Christmas
Don't send a gift list
I buy one for wifey, buy one for my mistress
That's it, merry Christmas
This my diss-mas

[Verse 1]
Let me catch Santa creepin' through my mama house
Eating cookies and milk and farting on the couch
I'ma kick his ass and tell him "Give me all the goods
How the fuck you get in? Ain't no chimneys in the hood"
Elves go fuck yourselves, I don't like y'all neither
Santa's little homies can't come around neither
Hey you old fat man in a sleigh
How the fuck you make it round the world in a day?
How the hell you know who's been naughty or nice?
When I was a kid Santa skipped my house twice
So you owe me
Yeah bitch you owe me
So now I want a Rollie
[Hook] (x2)

[Outro] (x2)
Fuck prancer
Fuck vixen
Fuck prancer
Fuck vixen
I want a video ho ho ho
I want a video ho ho ho