[DOUG, spoken]
Okay! Here we go!

[BUD, spoken]
Again!

[DOUG, spoken]
Yes! Here we go again!

[BUD, spoken]
The second act!

[DOUG, spoken]
Now, you must be sitting there, thinking to yourself
“I love this show more than any show I’ve seen ever...
But who are these guys onstage?!”

[BUD, spoken]
Yeah! Who are we?!

[DOUG, spoken]
So we thought we’d take a second
To tell you a little bit... about us
Take it, Bud!

[BUD, spoken]
Now, my name is Mr. Bud Davenport
That you already know
But what you may not know...
I’m thirty-three, I’m single
And I love to make music
[DOUG, spoken]
Watch out ladies!

[BUD, spoken]
Yeah, yeah, yes
I am looking for a wife
Uh... other than Doug

[DOUG, spoken]
Sometimes we act just like and old married couple

[BUD, spoken]
Gah, you’re... so passive aggressive!

[DOUG, spoken]
Well, you... take me for granted sometimes

[BUD, spoken]
I’m not gay

[DOUG, spoken]
No...
But I am
My name is Doug Simon
I’m thirty four years old
I live in a studio apartment
Above an incredibly loud pet store
And I used to own a cat
[BUD, spoken]
Until it died

[DOUG, spoken]
Yes
So!
Gutenberg The Musical!
Act II!