Mark Kozelek
Garden of Lavender
Was on a flight home from—well, it doesn't matter
With eleven hours, a million thoughts were gathering
My mind kept going to my garden of lavender
I wanted to get to them so they wouldn't die
When I got home, they were dry as wheat
While the vines thrived around them B-horror film green
Not sure what my lavender symbolize
But inside my heart cried
My heart is drawn to the small out-of-the-way things
That I can't help but to give my focus and attention and care
Cause they shut off what hijacks my brain
And help to tune out what can cause me pain
And I care for the animals around my yard
And my sister's children and I care for my garden
Swarmed upon by bumblebees
And yellow jackets and wasps and hornets that can dart out and sting
I see the big orange tabby cat
Getting warm on the cover of the hot tub
He turns over on his back
Looking for a belly rub
I see the deer tracks in the snow
On the animal path
That leads into my backyard
I hear the sound of my girlfriend's car
Coming up the driveway and it fills my heart
With joy
Though I know it will all end someday
And someone else will be sleeping in my mountain house
Wondering who lived here before
Just like I sometimes do
Though I never really cared to explore
I see the chocolate and peanut butter cat
I look at him and he looks back
I snap my fingers and blow him a kiss
He rubs his head against my hand and we reminisce
I walk downtown and see the Christmas lights
Along the highway and how they shine
And I'm reminded of when I was a child
And how happy I felt when I opened the box and saw a guitar inside
Was on a flight to somewhere I can't remember
I feel like I've lived so many lives, I can't put it all together
Dordrecht, Holland, yeah that was it
I had a nice dinner with a concert promoter and his Korean wife, Suyoung Kim
Then dropped me off at an old spooky hotel
I felt like an old man in a castle looking over at the canal
And I went and I played for a crowd but my heart wasn't there
I came back to my room and slouched in my bed
And I fell asleep still stewing about my dried up lavender
And I fell asleep in the dark dead night
And I dreamed of a bluejay picking up a seed
And passing it to another's beak
Then watched him soar to another branch
Then a baby possum hissed at me as I crept up on him near a trash can
And I woke up one rainy morning in Dordrecht, Holland
Then got on a flight for London, England
Then I took a cab from Heathrow right to Westfield Mall in Shepherd's Bush
Where I bought a raincoat, then checked into the K West Hotel
And ate at a Polish restaurant down the street
I played the next night at Shepherd's Bush Empire
Neil Halstead and his band were opening and their soundcheck sounded great
And as I watched I remembered playing with Mojave 3 in the mid-'90s
One of the shows being at CMJ in New York
And I remembered seeing them open for Gomez in Madrid in 1998
I was with my girlfriend Marina but I somehow managed to sneak in an unforgettable kiss with Rachel backstage
It was one of those kisses that you'll take to your grave
Gomez knew I was there, and they played "Grace Cathedral Park" that night and I got pretty choked up listening to them
So anyhow, I played my show at Shepherd's Bush that night and a fan heckled me asking if I really hated Nels Cline
I explained that I didn't, that his name just rhymed with one word or the other
After the show, I left with my agent, Ed, and his wife, and Alessia, and we talked for a bit
Then I walked back to the K West with my guitar and got into my bed, called my girlfriend and fell asleep