Mark Kozelek
Medicine Bottle
Giving in to love
And sharing my time
Letting someone into my misery
I told it all step by step
How I landed on the island
And how I swim across the sea
And it crosses my mind
That I may awake to a knife in me
No more breath in my hair or ladies underwear
Tossed up over the alarm clock
Blood dripping from the bed to a neatly written poem
Heartfelt last line reading
There is no more mystery
Is it going to happen, my love?
There is no more mystery
Is it going to happen, my love?
"It's all in my head", she said, "Morning after nightmare"
"You're building a wall", she said, "Higher than the both of us
So try living life instead of hiding in the bedroom
Show me a smile and I'll promise not to leave you"
It happened under a rainy cloud
Passing through the dark South
We went into a big house
And slept in a small bed
I didn't know you then
As well as you of me
We talked of our sad lives
And we went on separately
And we went on separately
I found your overseas souvenirs
Holiday greeting cards
Those long forgotten high school fears
"It's all in my head", I said
Banging on the piano
I've not been so alone
I thought, since kicking in the womb
I drank so much tea
I wrote my letters in kanji
Around the block I walked and walked
Pretending you were with me
Not wanting to die out here
Without you
The hurting never ends
Like birthdays and old friends, we forget
That this flesh blood and bone is human
Trading phone lines for airlines
Unwilling to face
That love is found on the inside
Not the outside
And like a medicine bottle
In the cabinet, I'll keep you
And like a medicine bottle
In my hand I will hold you
And swallow you slowly
As to last me a lifetime
Without holding too tight
I do not want to lose
The thrill that it gives me
To look out from my window
And scowl at the houses
From my world in the bedroom
"It's all in his head", she read
In a girlfriend's self-help book
"It's all his own making
A war with himself
Like two sides of a wall
That separates two countries
He shuts out the world he once knew
To love you"
Not wanting to die out here
Without you
Not wanting to die out here
Without you