Sad Sac and Tarzan
Walking up at the mall
Up walked a girlfriend
Said, "You had the gall to bring my name up again"
Looking for salvation
We had an ice cream soda
I said, "Have you ever wondered what became of Uncle Bill?"

We was peeling potatoes
Back in World War II
And we was playing that rock and roll
After school for you-know-who
Hidden from the public
It was behind the scenes
There was a relic
They called the purple hare

I was eating a taco
I looked across the room
I saw a girl in a red dress
She said she'd like to do me in
I left the waiter a tip
I scrambled for the door
Said, "You might have loved me, but now there's nothing more"

She's always on my trail
She really likes to kill
I keep her lovely picture on my window sill
I was just a cowboy without a show
I was like the kind of guy you never really know
You won't forget me
No matter how hard you try
And when it's my time to go
I'll wave goodbye

Sing yourself a melody
Cry a tear of joy