Me and a friend went out one night
Walking in the street
We talked of God and the end of the world
I stuck my head in a fire hydrant

The night was cool it was around the time
That the fat ladies come out
While river rats broke windows
And performed unnatural acts

We walked halfway across the town
And sang in an amphitheatre
And then we walked a little further
And admired some graffiti

Dodging cars as we crossed the highway
We sure must have looked ugly
My shirt was soaked, the grass was wet
I stuck my head in a fire hydrant

We talked of things and the good book
While there was a naked lady on TV
She had no care - she had no shame
She had little propellers on

My friend he said, "I can't help but look
At this naked lady's body"
I said, "Dear friend you got a dirty mind;
Stick your head in a fire hydrant"
Earlier that evening I went to a banquet
Hoping she might be there
But she wasn't so I went to this other girl's house
Who was freaked out on drugs

So later after that, after the first part of this song
On my way home
I drove past this other girl's house
Who will not accept my calls

I noticed she had her light on
As I drove slowly by
I wonder if she noticed me
I stuck my head in a fire hydrant