He was a fine upstanding bantam-cock
So brisk, and stiff, and spry...
With a springy step, and a jaunty plume
And a purposeful look in his eye
In his little black laughing eye!

So I took him to the coop and introduced him to
My seventeen wide-eyed hens
And he tupped and he tupped as a hero tupps
And he bowed to them all, and then
He up and took 'em all again!

Well then upon the peace of my ducks and geese
He boldly did intrude
And with glazed eyes and opened mouths
They bore him with fortitude...
And a little bit of gratitude!

He jumped my giggling guinea-fowl!
He thrust his attentions upon
ME twenty hysterical turkeys
And a visiting migrant swan!
And the bantam thundered on!

He groped my fan-tail pigeon doves
And my lily-white Columbine
And as I was a lockin' at me budgerigar
He jumped my parrot from behind!
He was sittin' on me shoulder at the time!
But all of a sudden, with a gasp and a gulp
He clapped his wings to his head!
He lay flat on his back with his feet in the air;
My bantam-cock was dead!
And the vultures circled overhead!

What a noble beast!
What a champion cock!
What a way to live and die!
But as I dug him a grave to protect his bones
From those hungry buzzards in the sky
The bantam opened up a sley little eye!

He gave me a wink, and a terrible grin
The way that rapists do....
He said, "Do you see them silly daft buggers up there?
They'll be down in a minnit 'er two!
They'll be down in a minnit 'er two!"