Dear sir, I write this note to you to tell you of my plight
For at the time of writing it I'm not a pretty sight
My body is all black and blue, my face a deathly grey
And I write this note to say why I am not at work today

While working on the 14th floor some bricks I had to clear
But tossing them down from such a height was not a good idea
The foreman wasn't very pleased, he is an awkward sod
And he said I had to cart them down the ladders in me hod

Well clearing all these bricks by hand, it was so very slow
So I hoisted up a barrel and secured a rope below
But in my haste to do the job, I was too blind to see
That a barrel full of building bricks was heavier than me

And so when I untied the rope the barrel fell like lead
And clinging tightly to the rope I started up instead
I shot up like a rocket and to my dismay I found
That half way up I met the bloody barrel coming down

The barrel broke my shoulder as to the ground it sped
And when I reached the top I banged the pulley with my head
I clung on tightly numb with shock from this almighty blow
While the barrel spilled out half its bricks some 14 floors below

Now when these bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor
I then out-weighed the barrel and so started down once more
But I clung on tightly to the rope, my body racked with pain
And half way down I met the barrel once again
The force of this collision half way down the office block
Caused multiple abbraisions and a nasty case of shock
But I clung on tightly to the rope as I fell towards the ground
And landed on the broken bricks the barrel had scattered round

Well as I lay there on the floor I thought I'd passed the worst
But the barrel hit the pulley wheel and then the bottom burst
A shower of bricks rained down on me I didn't have a hope
As I lay there bleeding on the ground I let go of the bloody rope

The barrel now being heavier, it started down once more
It landed right across me as I lay there on the floor
It broke three ribs and my left arm and I can only say
I hope you understand why I am not at work today