[Intro]
Uncle Bob, tell us as story!
Well, you know, I woke up this morning with a manatee in my head, and I thought, you know, that's not too bad, you know, not too shabby. [?]
Shut up, Uncle Bob!
Uncle Rick, tell us a story, Uncle Bob's drunk
Alright alright, you kids get to bed, okay?

[Verse 1]
Here we go
Once upon a time not long ago
When people wore pajamas and lived life slow
When laws were stern and justice stood
And people were behavin' like they ought ta good
There lived a lil' boy who was mislead
By another lil' boy and this is what he said:
"Me and you, tonight we're gonna make some cash
Robbin' old folks and makin' the dash"
They did the job, money came with ease
But one couldn't stop, it's like he had a disease
He robbed another and another and a sista and her brotha
Tried to rob a man who was a D.T. undercover
The cop grabbed his arm, he started acting erratic
He said "Keep still, boy, no need for static"
Punched him in his belly and he gave him a slap
But little did he know the lil' boy was strapped
The kid pulled out a gun, he said "Why did ya hit me?"
The barrel was set straight for the cop's kidney
The cop got scared, the kid, he starts to figure
"I'll do years if I pull this trigga"
So he cold dashed and ran around the block
Cop radioed it to another lady cop
He ran by a tree, there he saw this sista
A shot for the head, he shot back but he missed her
Looked around good and from expectations
So he decided he'd head for the subway stations
But she was coming and he made a left
He was runnin' top speed till he was outta breath
Knocked an old man down and swore he killed him (sorry!)
Then he made his move to an abandoned building
Ran up the stairs up to the top floor
Opened up the door there, guess who he saw?
Dave the dope fiend shootin' dope
Who don't know the meaning of water nor soap
He said "I need bullets, hurry up, run!"
The dope fiend brought back a spanking shotgun
He went outside but there was cops all over
Then he dipped into a car, a stolen Nova
Raced up the block doing 83
Crashed into a tree near university
Escaped alive though the car was battered
Rat-a-tat-tatted and all the cops scattered
Ran out of bullets and still had static
Grabbed a pregnant lady and pulled out the automatic
Pointed at her head and he said the gun was full o' lead
He told the cops "Back off or honey here's dead"
Deep in his heart he knew he was wrong
So he let the lady go and he starts to run on
Sirens sounded, he seemed astounded
And before long the little boy got surrounded
He dropped his gun, so went the glory
And this is the way I have to end this story
He was only seventeen, in a madman's dream
The cops shot the kid, I still hear him scream
This ain't funny so don't ya dare laugh
Just another case about the wrong path
Straight 'n narrow or yo' soul gets cast
Good night
[Outro]
Knock him out the box, Rick
Knock him out, Rick