[Verse 1]
Speaking way to long, just hit the fucking bong
You're always gonna leave nothin' till it's gone
Too much choppin', not enough a-puffin'
We can't free you

[Chorus]
If my bong could talk, it'd say, "You stingy fuck!"
If my bong could sing, it'd say, "La, la, la!"

[Verse 2]
Water's getting grosser, slowly as it roasts
If you're going green, looking like a ghost
I'm not stopping, fill it to the top and
We can't free you

[Chorus]
If my bong could talk, it'd say, "You stingy fuck!"
If my bong could sing, it'd say, "La, la, la!"
If my bong could talk, it'd say, "Get a job!"
If my bong could sing, it'd say, "Fa-la-la, la-la-la"

[Outro]
Nothin' but weed, nothin' but green
Now we can barely breathe
We've got nothin' green, nothin' but weed
Now we can barely breathe
If my fridge could fuck, it'd go, "Aww, aww, aww"