[Chorus: Bing Crosby & Chorus]
Would you like to swing on a star
Carry moonbeams home in a jar
And be better off than you are (Ooo)
Or would you rather be a mule?

[Verse 1: Bing Crosby & Chorus]
A mule is an animal with long funny ears
He kicks up at anything he hears
His back is brawny but his brain is weak
He's just plain stupid with a stubborn streak
And by the way, if you hate to go to school
You may grow up to be a mule

[Chorus 2: Bing Crosby & Chorus]
Or would you like to swing on a star
Carry moonbeams home in a jar
And be better off than you are, doo doo
Or would you rather be a pig?

[Verse 2: Bing Crosby & Chorus]
A pig is an animal with dirt on his face
His shoes are a terrible disgrace
He has no manners when he eats his food
He's fat and lazy and extremely rude
But if you don't care a feather or a fig
You may grow up to be a pig
[Chorus 3: Bing Crosby & Chorus]
Or would you like to swing on a star
Carry moonbeams home in a jar
And be better off than you are
Or would you rather be a fish?

[Verse 3: Bing Crosby & Chorus]
A fish won't do anything, but swim in a brook
He can't write his name or read a book
To fool the people is his only thought
And though he's slippery, he still gets caught
But then if that sort of life is what you wish
You may grow up to be a fish

A new kind of jumped up slippery fish

[Outro: Bing Crosby & Chorus]
And all the monkeys aren't in the zoo
Everyday you'll meet quite a few
So you see it's all up to you (Ooo)
You can be better than you are (Ooo)
You could be swingin' on a star

Doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo, doo doo