I want to go home to a body
That has never memorized this pattern
But I think that bodies like mine
All know it too well to unremember
And our bodies talk to each other
While we aren't looking

I wish to intercept the quietly passed note
Before my throat reads it
And the feeling all comes back

So now I just carry this dead weight
That’s still warm, and the half dollars
Keep slipping off its eyelids
And it sees me better
Than any living thing ever could
So I meet its mouth with my own
And try to breathe anything back into it
But it just gеts heavier evеry time

I started taking the medicine again
To build my body into something
Better suited for being a lone pallbearer
Someday I will find a place
To bury this thing for good
And I will dig a hole big enough to fit
This hardened half of me alongside it in the earth
I will not delude myself into thinking
Anything will grow atop us
We’ll poison the soil for a square mile
Small animals will eat contaminated vegetation
And when their soft bodies are found cold
We can co-opt their funerals
Since these quiet parts of us
Will never get their own