[Intro]
Christmas comes just once a year (I got a baby doll)
With all its yuletide joy and cheer (I got a football)
But there's one thing I'd like to say
Is that I hate Christmas day (I got a rock)

[Verse 1]
It's time for everybody to have a christmas party
Everyone but me, I'll step outside
Boycott your office party
No secret Santa for me
Mistletoe makes me sneeze anyway
'Cause I don't wanna go, where happy days are snow
I'd rather stay where
Frosty melts in the sun
July 4 parade
A Lynchburg lemonade
An alcohol-a-day by the pool in the sun (now everybody sing)

[Chorus]
Deck the halls with bells of holly
'Tis the season to be jolly but
'Cause I hate Christmas
I'm glad it only comes one time a year

[Verse 2]
It's time for everybody to head out Christmas shopping
Everyone but me, I'll stay inside
No presents under your tree that have a nametag for me
And it makes my gifts so easy to hide
I don't wanna go, where shopping lines are slow
I rather stay at home with the frosty cold one
A bud on ice in may, a lazy summer day
An alcohol-a-day by the pool in the sun (now everybody sing)
[Chorus]
Deck the halls with bells of holly
'Tis the season to be jolly but
'Cause I hate Christmas
I'm glad it only comes one time a year

[Bridge]
It was the night before Christmas and all through the house
All the creatures was chillin' like Flint drinkin' stout
I woke from my sleep, heard here comes the boom
I knew that Santa would be comin' soon
On Dascher on Donner, on Commit, on Blitzen
I yelled "shut up ya'll", but they wouldn't listen
And then he came down with his belly of jello
He said "where the ladies at cuz I'm a real jolly fellow"
Then he gave me a wink and was quick out of sight
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a super deeky duper fly night"
(Now everyone - sing)

[Chorus]
Deck the halls with bells of holly
'Tis the season to be jolly but
'Cause I hate Christmas
I'm glad it only comes one time a year
(One more time, like you mean it)
Deck the halls with bells of holly
'Tis the season to be jolly but (yes!)
'Cause I hate Christmas
I'm glad it only comes one time a year

'Cause I hate Christmas
I'm glad it only comes one time a year
'Cause I hate Christmas
I'm glad it only comes one time a year

[Outro]
(Deck the halls with bells of holly, la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la)
(Shut up, shut up, shut up!)