Amanda Palmer
Tragic Events - Part III
[Voiced - Evelyn, Evelyn, both]
Evelyn?
Evelyn?
I just had the most terrible dream
I was walking on a street in a huge city
But all of the shops and all of the cars were empty
It was so quiet, and I knew that something was very wrong
And then I realized... you weren't there
I called for you, but no one answered
I looked for you everywhere, Evelyn
Hush, it was only a dream
Don't be scared
Remember, everything is going to be better soon, Evelyn
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The year is 2004
"The Da Vinci Code" is the New York Times' number one bestseller
And the bombing at the Australian embassy in Jakarta leaves eleven dead
And on an open stretch of road
Two sisters are waiting for a ride

On the eve of their 19th birthday
The twins have covertly left their circus trailer
Packing their few worldly possessions:
A change of clothes
Their painted ukulele
And a battered photograph of Bimba and Kimba
They walk nine miles under cover of night
After what seems like an endless wait
An 18-wheeled truck pulls over
And the driver, a retired professional wrestler named Tony
Offers the girls a ride
("Hey, little ladies. Why don't you slide on up in here, next to Tony.")
Unskilled at small talk
The twins sit wide-eyed and silent in the front seat
The driver, who had not initially noticed the twin's unique condition
Leaves the sisters at a gas station in Walla Walla, Washington
("Listen, why don't you two just hang out here for a minute
I'll be right back...")

Not knowing where to go
The twins walk into the nearby Don't Tell Motel
Run by one Montgomery Lubovich
("You girls looking for a room?")
When it becomes apparent that they have no means to pay for their stay
Mister Lubovich offers to employ them in exchange for lodging and food
("Well you can stay here, but it ain't gonna be free")
The twins are given a small cot in the corner of the boiler room
And are put to work stuffing envelopes
Licking stamps
And filling out hundreds of sweepstakes applications every day on Mister Lubovich's behalf

More so than ever before
The twins feel lonely at the Don't Tell
They dream of befriending some of the other tenants
Many of whom are women their age
But whenever the shy sisters work up the courage to approach one of these potential friends
They are met with looks of fear and disgust
("Oh my god. Candie, that thing is looking at us" ... "Ewww")
So they busied themselves by composing songs
And practicing their ukulele technique
After 2 years at the Don't Tell
Mister Lubovich teaches the girls to
Search for and print sweepstakes applications by themselves
On the 486 Pentium computer behind the motel's front desk
("Now type w-w-w dot instant win frenzy dot com")
One day
While searching online for new sweepstakes application forms
The girls mistakenly stumble upon a social networking site
They navigate through the profiles of many musicians and performers
And see the great number of friends that they have
They are amazed and intrigued

The twins redouble their efforts
And stay up late for a week
To perfect their singing and ukulele playing
(*snap* OW!)
Late one night
While Mister Lubovich is fast asleep
The twins creep out of the boiler room
To the front desk computer
To create their very own music profile page
Their heartbeats quicken as their first song begins to upload
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Just think of all the friends we're going to have, Evelyn
Thousands
Thousands and thousands of friends, Evelyn
I'm so excited, Evelyn
Goodnight, Evelyn
Goodnight, Evelyn