[Intro: Violent J]
A little mix of the old shit
Somethin' for you to knock down the block to
Juggalo Love

[Verse 1: Violent J]
Woboogawoo WAAA!! Welcome to the House of Horrors
What? You born in a barn? Shut the fuckin' doors
And sit down, 'cause I'm about to scare you
Blubablubabluba, okay now I dare you
Close your eyes, open up your mouth, and count to ten
Don't wanna, huh, 'cause you know my nuts are going in
I'm twisted, I'll cut your finger off, and stick in your butt
Awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa and glue it shut
This is when I get crazy, lemme show you something
Brrrr! You know what that means, it don't mean nothin, haha
But it scared you 'cause people don't be doing that shit
But me brrr! Bitch, brrr! I'm all about it (Brrrr!!!)
Guess what I'm a serial killer, it's a bad habit
I killed Tony, Lucky Charms, the Silly Rabbit, UH!
Cut the lights, see that shit, I'm glowing
Alright, I'm done, cut 'em back on, wait, where you going?
Welcome to the House of Horrors

[Verse 2: Shaggy 2 Dope]
Lordy-Lordy we got a protest that (What?)
Some rock and roll ninja bit the head off a rat
Let's march in his concert and chant him to hell
'Cause he's so fucking terrible
Meanwhile his records sales double and triple
'Cause of you writin' about him rubbing his nipple
Religious? Shit, you helped them bands
Instead of helpin' them poor people eatin' out of them garbage cans
When you done with that, bitch, come protest me
Shit, motherfucker I could use some money
The whole world was crying when Kurt went co-bang!
When Eazy-E died though, it wasn't no thang (Nope)
Rapper dies of AIDS but you hardly mention
Rocker blows his face off and becomes a legend
Heroin and a shotgun, a hero was made
Maybe I should do that shit so J can get paid
[Verse 3: Violent J & Shaggy 2 Dope]
If I was your TV I'd be like "Look at me"
If I was a shooting star I'd be like "Peace!"
If I was a fat bitch's thong I'd be like "Hell naw!"
If I was a hotties thong I'd be like "Awwww"
If I was a cuss word I'd just be like "fuck"
If I was a rock on the moon I'd be chillin' like "Sup?"
If I was a butthole I'd just be an exit
If I was the D.O.C. I'd be like "man, this is bullshit"
If I was the tires on your car I'd be like "NEEEAAAWWW"
If I was the bumper on your car I'd be like "Aww fuck"
If I was a balloon I'd be like "pap"
If I was Alyssa Milano I'd be fucking Joe Bruce
If I was a radio DJ I'd probably say "the point 103"
If I was a richie-ass bitch I'd be like "umm... ok"
If I was Spin magazine I'd put a mirror on the cover
And be like "Fuck us, and all our readers, even this motherfucker!"
If I was your mental stress I'd be catching up
If I was your headaches every now and then I'd be like "THONK!"
If I was your tongue I'd be hating your teeth
I'd be like "Ow! Why do you always bite me every time we try to eat?"
If I was a chair I'd be like "Sit here"
If I was Kid Rock I'd cut my feathered wolf hair
If I was your muffler I'd be like "Shhh, quietly"
And if I was a price tag I'd be like "You ain't buying me"
If I was a fresh ass DJ I'd be like *record scratch*
If I was Jam Master Jay I'd be like *slow record scratch*
If I was a cheap clock radio I'd be like *static* ("Tune that motherfucker in")
If I was Barry White I'd be like "What up y'all?"
If I was nipple in the cold I'd be like *Boing*
If I was your dead uncle I'd be like "....."
If I was a raindrop I'd just be like *drop*
And If I had an ax to your neck I might say "CHOP!"
[Interlude: Shaggy 2 Dope & Violent J]
Hey Mike, Mike...MIKE! TURN ME UP!
Check three, check five
Right about now...
Check three, check five

[Verse 4: Violent J & Shaggy 2 Dope]
Welcome everyone to the big show
Jake and Jack and the Dark Carnival
Remove your hats or we'll cut off your head
Show respect, youse amongst the dead
Don't like bigots and richie boy fucks
Ain't shit changed, bitch, check nuts
Detroit Southwest murderers style
The greatest spectacle under the sky
Five cards came and made their mark
From Moon Yugon down to Patton Park
Fuck your drum kit, xylophone, cello
I'm a wicked clown, bitch, hello!?
Everybody come jump in our ride
Fit you and your fat-ass bitch inside
Wagon's tips are swift as a breeze
Can't nobody get with these, motherfucker, bring it on!

[Chorus]
Bring it, bring it, bring it, bring it (Bring it, bring it, bring it, bring it)
Bring it, bring it, bring it, bring it (Bring it, bring it, bring it, bring it)
Bring it, bring it, bring it, bring it (Bring it, bring it, bring it, bring it)
Bring it, bring it (Bring it, bring it) Bring it!
[Post-Chorus: Violent J]
Violent J, Shaggy, serial killers with style, fashion of the 2000's and beyond

[Interlude]
Voodoo, chicken and magical wands

[Host]
"Let's meet contestant number one. He's a schizophrenic serial killer clown who says women love his sexy smile. Let's find out if his charm will work on Sharon. Sharon, what's your question?"

[Sharon]
"Contestant number one, I believe first impressions last forever. So let's say you were to come over to my parent's house and have dinner with me and my family. Tell me what you would do to make that first impression really stick"

[Verse 5: Violent J]
Let's see, mm, well, I'd have to think about it
I might show up in a tux, HA!, but I doubt it
I'd probably just show up naked like I always do
And look your momma in the eye and tell her, "FUCK YOU!!!"
Hurry up, bitch, I'm hungry, I smell spaghetti
I'd pinch her loopy ass and tell her, "Get the food ready!"
Your dad will probably start trippin' and get me pissed
I'd have to walk up and bust him in his fucking lips!
It's dinner time, we hearing grace from your mother
I'd pull a forty out and pour some for your little brother
I'm steady staring at your sister, I'll tell you this
You know for only thirteen, she got some big tits
After that, your dad will try to jump again
And only this time, I'd put the forty to his chin
After your mom does the dishes and the silverware
I'd dry-fuck her till I nut in my underwear

[Verse 6: Shaggy 2 Dope]
The second little piggy, his house is made of brick
And this little piggy is a motherfuckin' dick
He sits on his bench and gets all the respect
But if I get a chance, I'm goin' straight for the neck
He walked in the room, and everybody rose
Lopped off bucket chillin' underneath my clothes
First they let the piggy, now you can finally sit
But what this piggy don't know is he's about to get his neck wet
Now I see the bailiff, I'm thinkin' what the fuck?
I can smoke this room before his hearing aid will pick it up
Old-ass man, I let him get away
That tired motherfucker will probably die tomorrow, anyway
Here come the piggy, it's time for my case
His eyes are blood red with a wicked lookin' face
He saw my joker's smile, and sentenced me a dime
So I whacked on the bucket, made it fuckin' rain pork rinds

[Chorus: Violent J]
Three little piggies, to make a piggy pie
There's nothing like the squeal when you hear a piggy die
I might use a gun (No), I might use an axe (Yes)
The carnival's in town, come and get your piggy snacks
Three little piggies, to make a piggy pie
There's nothing like the squeal when you hear a piggy die
I might use a gun (No), I might use an axe (Yes)
The carnival's in town, come and get your piggy snacks

[Verse 7: Violent J]
My axe is my buddy, I bring him when I walk
Me and my axe will leave your head outlined in chalk
My axe is my buddy, he always makes me laugh
Me and my axe cut bigots' spinal cords in half
My axe is my buddy, and when I wind him back
Me and my axe will give your forehead a buttcrack
My axe is my buddy, I never leave without him
Me and my axe will leave your neck a bloody fountain

[Chorus: Shaggy 2 Dope]
Everybody, everybody, everybody run
Murdering, murdering, murdering fun, (Everybody dies)
Swing swing swing, chop chop chop, (Everybody dies)
Swing swing swing, chop chop chop
Everybody, everybody, everybody run
Murdering, murdering, murdering fun, (Everybody dies)
Swing swing swing, chop chop chop, (Everybody dies)
Swing swing swing, chop chop chop

[Verse 8: Violent J]
My axe is my buddy, we right the planet's wrongs
Me and my axe leave bigots dead on richie lawns
My axe is my buddy, he never makes me cry
Me and my axe will leave a divot for your eye

[Outro: Violent J]
Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch
Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch
Tylenol, Tylenol, Tylenol, Tylenol
Tylenol, Tylenol, Tylenol, Tylenol