[Violent J, Shaggy 2 Dope, Legz Diamond]
I'm here with the Insane Clown Posse
Yeah! Yeah!
Sweee!
Boom! Yes!
Sweee!
Yes!
Woo!
So tell me, how did you guys get started?
Well, Dick, it all began a long time ago. 1990
72!
That's right. It all began, we were livin' in Southwest Detroit, rappin', makin' rap songs and handin' them out in the neighborhood. Then, we came across a guy named Alex Abiss, who owned a record store. Tell him what happened, Shaggs
Gave him the record, he liked the record, he sold the record, BWAAAAA!!!
Avalanche from there on: Fortune, fame, money, Hollywood parties, bitches, famous women, drugs, sex, and rock & roll.
Woo! WOOO!!!
I see. What is this Dark Carnival anyway?
The Dark Carnival? Hearses, wagon, southwest juggalo, ringmastas,
Freakshows, sideshows
Fat ladies
Skinny ladies
Bearded ladies
Short, bald-headed, midget guys
Fuckin' hermaphroditical mother fuckers!
It's all there, but it only creeps at night, Dick. It don't move around, except for at night. When you're asleep, it creeps and sets up tent in your backyard. That's right, you're dead asleep, and your mom is at the Carnival, getting her fat ass lopped into pieces, shredded like shredded wheat, like spaghetti smashed all over the fuckin' lawn, and your dog's out there eating it, 'cause he thinks it's food, you fucker!
The Dark Carnival is the ghetto’s dream, which one day is going to be twisted into reality, mother fuckers
Making stops in all the richest neighborhoods. No more killing each other in the ghetto, friends. No more torturing ourselves, Dick. It’s all gonna happen to them, the richies, 'cause every carnival travels from city to city, town to town, and so will the Dark Carnival. I PROMISE YOU, DICK! Next question.
What’s this about Joker’s Cards? What’s the next Joker’s Card gonna be?
Well, lemme tell ya, Dicky Poo. The next Joker Card is gonna follow right in suit with the Dead Carnival, and the next Joker’s Card is
The Great Milenko. You see, my friends, there will be six Joker Cards in all. The first one: 1991, the Carnival of Carnage. The second one: 1993, the Ringmaster. The third one, 1995, the Riddle Box, and up next is the fourth Joker’s Card, the Great Milenko. Once all six Joker Cards have landed, once all six have unleashed, what will happen?
BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Scream in my ear again and I’ll punch your fuckin’ face. Now, as I was saying. The fourth Joker’s Card is the Great Milenko, the caster of illusions, the master of the art of using magic without magic. He is the Great Milenko.
How do you guys feel about other rappers dissing you?
Well let me tell you something, Slick Dick, I've been to a mountain top, and I seen the top the mountain top. I've been to the bottom of the ocean, and [?] fuckin' whale.
Ha ha ha! Dick, to be honest, I could give a FUCK less. The rock and rollers diss us ‘cause we don’t string guitars on stage. The rappers diss us ‘cause everybody mosh pits in the fuckin' crowd. I don’t give a FUCK LESS! Everybody dissin’ can suck my dick. I got two balls in my nut sack: one for the East Coast, and one for the West Coast, 'cause this is Detroit dick, and that's where the Wicked Clowns are from. Everybody else can suck on that.
This next question comes in two parts. Where do you guys see yourselves in ten years and 30 years?
Hm. Let’s see, Dick. In ten fuckin’ years, we’ll be opening up for washed up wack-ass fuckin’ rapper tour, the whooped dad ass wants some fuckin’ game tour
That’s right, opening for Vanilla Ice
Young MC!
And fuckin’ Tone Loc, and there’s ICP, played right the fuck out, doing old hits that never were hits, Dick. I don’t think we’re gonna be famous. We’re gonna be fuckin’ washed up and played right the fuck out
Now, in 30 years, how in the FUCK are we supposed to see that far in the future, Dick?
Dick, you’re a dick! You ask stupid questions, Dick, and I’m gonna power bomb your fuckin’ head into thumb tacks!
Pardon me. Moving right along, how did you guys hook up with Mike Clark?
Dick, take some of that fuckin’ echo off your voice! I can barely understand it! Now! Mike E. Clark, the greatest fuckin' producer of mankind. See, Mike Clark used to produce mega hits: Linda Rodstatd, fuckin’ Bee Gees
Juice Newton!
Juice Newton! And we love that shit! Do we love that shit, Shaggy?
We fuckin’ love it! So, anyways, we’d see Mike Clark sittin’ in the alley smoking pebbles, picked his fucking drunk ass off, kicked him in the ass, and put him in the studio
And then he makes mega hits! We make Juice Newton sound like a bitch! We make, fuckin’, the Village People sound like the country people! We *laughs* We make fuckin’... who was the other one I said?
The Bee Gees sound like the Sea Bees!
That’s right! And that’s all due thanks to Mike Clark! We dusted the dust off his ass, put him on the board, and he’s back in the business, bitch!
One good swift kick in the balls, and he’s back in shape, mother fucker!
And mega hits, mega hits, mega hits for mega tits. That’s what we make, Dick!
Why does the group degrade rednecks?
Well, uh, Dicky boy, it all started long ago. I was having gang troubles at the house. Mom wasn’t too happy with it, so she sent me down South to live with my brother, in North Carolina, who was in the army, and what happened there was a whole new world for me, Dickle. What happened there was I lived in a trailer park with a guy who looked like Elvis, and I had a George Strait posted on my wall. I said, “Can I take it down?” and he told me no. And I saw rednecks, Dick. I saw all types of shades of red on peoples’ necks. I saw pink necks, I saw purple necks, and everything in between, Dick. I fuckin’ hate rednecks. They sit on the porch and pick corn out of their toes and chew it, and have the fuckin’ BALLS, the red BALLS to diss people in Detroit, people in every major city. They say, “Well, you know, boy, those fuckin’ city folks, you need to let, *spit* you need to live out here with us in the country, get you an education,” when he’s fuckin’ his brother’s little sister! It’s that fuckin’ nasty, Dick!
Fuck rednecks! Fuck ‘em! I’ll kill ‘em! Bitch, just fuck ‘em, mother fuckers!
Calm down.
Now from some questions direct from the ICP hotline. Jeff Wanson from Cleveland, Ohio wants to know, what are you guys’ real names and age?
Well, on the record, they call me Shaggs. That's what people call me, but my real name is Stanky Twinklepuss, and I'm 14 and a half years old, Jeff.
He’s almost 15, though. In a couple more months, he’ll be 15, and Jeff, my name on the record is Violent J, but my mother named me Donald Drinkwater, and I'm from, uh, *laughs* I'm from Detroit, and I'm 42 years old, Jeff. Any more questions from the fans, Dick?
Nobody asked where you were from, Don. Our next question is from David Boxworthy from Wyandotte, Michigan. He wants to know, do you guys know a guy named Rich Jones?
Hm. Rich Jones, huh? NAH, BITCH!
Rich Jones... Rich Jo- You know, the name rings a bell. That's the guy that comes over to my house every morning AND LICKS MY BALLS! I DON'T KNOW THAT FUCKER! FUCK YOU, AND FUCK HIM TOO, BITCH!
Lisa Goldbar from Denver, Colorado wants to know, does 2 Dope have a girlfriend?
Well, Lisa, yeah, I gotta honestly say I do got a girlfriend: YOUR FUCKIN' FAT FLOPPY-TITTIED MAMA! I sneak in at night when she's sleeping, lay on her big fat titties, and drink piping hot mocha!
That right, and I'm a witness to it, 'cause I drive him every night, and he makes me wait outside in front of the fuckin' house in the car with the June bugs and mosquitos bitin’ at my balls all night. I know he's got a girlfriend, and it's your mom, and she's a hell of a fat bitch, Lisa.
Big titties, too!
But I don't have a girlfriend. Why don't you ask me, you bitch? NOBODY EVER ASKS VIOLENT J IF THEY GOT A FUCKIN' GIRLFRIEND. Y'ALL A BUNCH OF BITCHES! FUCK ALL OF YOU BITCHES!
This next question is from Mandy Scringer from Flint, Michigan. She wants to know, what’s your stance on socio-economic problems from modern society?
Well, Mandy, I’m glad you asked, and Shaggy here’s gonna answer it for ya! Go ahead, Shaggs.
Well, Mandy, um, I’m gonna have to say the over curvature on the fourth dimension multiplied by the sigma ferda of the (Society) socio curvature of the science society (That’s right) dimension would have to be the sociopath of the abortion rate and the [?] cubicle
It’s all because of the Republicans
Right, and the
And the right to vote
And the anti demigodical (And pro-life!) fortified cubicles
That’s right, pro-choice is definitely…
Of the, uh, of the mortified, uh
SHUT THE FUCK UP, RIGHT? I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT, BITCH. GO BACK TO SCHOOL AND LEARN YOURSELF, YOU STUPID BITCH!
TAKE THAT FUCKIN’ QUESTION AND STICK IT IN YOUR FUCKIN’ ALTERNATIVE ASS, YOU BITCH!
I WISH THAT QUESTION WAS MORE THAN JUST WORDS. I WISH THERE WAS A ROPE SO I COULD WRAP IT AROUND YOUR NECK AND FLING YOUR BODY ALL OVER THE FUCKIN’ NEIGHBORHOOD!
THEN TAKE YOUR FACE AND FUCK IT!
Chris Macaroni from Elkhart, Indiana called to ask what Violent J’s home phone number is.
Chris, get a pen. 313-259-5567, but don’t call past ten, or my mom will get pissed, and she’ll ground me again, and I won’t be able to tour this summer!
Our final most requested question is, what is the Butterfly?
Well, Dick, before I answer this one, I wanna thank you, Dick, and I wanna thank all the people down with the clown.
You know, he’s got a point, Dickface. If it wasn’t for all these people around here buyin’ our shit, the clowns wouldn’t be shit. We ain’t shit! Fuck you, and fuck us!
That’s right. If it wasn’t for all you people, I’d be doin’ exactly what I’m doin’ now, SHIT! But now, I’ll answer the question that everybody wants to know
The Butterfly!
That’s right. What the fuck is it? The Butterfly. You see, when I was a kid-