[Intro]
Okay, so, stop me if you've heard this. So, this guy walks into a bar, and, like, this is just a regular dive-y bar, nothing special, and they see their therapist. And the therapist is like four drinks in, drunk as fuck, but the guy just got through some heavy shit, you know how it is, so he goes to the bar and starts chatting up this therapist. And this is what he says:

[Verse 1]
I think I need some sleep, ooh baby
I keep begging for something but it don't come cheap
I think I need release, ooh baby
I just pick up the pieces 'til it feels like peace

[Chorus 1]
'Cause I'm hoping, praying that if I'm gonna stay
It'll be better, better than before
But I'm worn out, broken, man, I feel like a joke
But I'm not laughing, laughing anymore

[Interlude]
So the therapist is kinda pissed off at this point, like, she- like, this was her day off. She's trying to drink to forget some serious shit that she's going through, so she chugs the rest of her drink-- and I mean chugs it--slams the glass on the table, tips what she thought was a five, turns out it was a twenty, she doesn't discover this until the next morning, that's not important. Either way, she says this to the man:

[Verse 2]
The fuck I'm supposed to do? Ooh baby
I know troubles are plenty 'cause I got mine too
So if you're feeling drab, ooh baby
Then check with your insurance if they'll pay my tab

[Chorus 2]
You been hopeless lately and if you're gonna stay
It'd be better, better to ignore
'Cause I'm worn out, broken, man, I feel like a joke
But I'm not laughing, laughing anymore
[Outro]
So, the man, inconsolably weeping, feeling there really is nowhere else to turn, gets in his car, drives wherever his manic little heart desires, and ends up at a bridge, overlooking the freeway. The cops that are called on him coerce him to climb off the railing. He's sent to the mental hospital and is told that he will stay there involuntarily for a minimum of two weeks. The next morning the therapist wakes up with a splitting headache and no recollection of the night before. She waits in her office for him to stop by but he doesn't for reasons unbeknownst to her

He's charged fifty dollars for being a no-show

(Laughs)