Things have come to a pretty pass
Our romance is growing flat
For you like this, and the other
While I go for this and that

Goodness knows what the end will be
Oh I don't know where I'm at
It looks as if we two will never be one ...

Something must be done:

Well, you say either, and I say either
You say neither, and I say neither ...
Either, either
Neither, neither
Let's call the whole thing off

You like potatoh, and I like potato
You like "tomahto", and I like tomato
Potato, potahto, tomato, tomahto
Hey let's call the whole thing off

But ooh, if we call the whole thing off
Then we must part
And ooh, if we ever part
Then that might break my heart
So if you like pyjamas and I like pajama
I'll wear pajamas and give up stupid pyajahmas
For we know we need each other so we
Better call the whole thing off

Well, you say "laurftah", and I say laughter
You say "ahrfter", and I say after
Laughter, larfter, aftah, arfter
Let's call the whole thing off

You like vanilla but he likes vanella
You saspiralla, and I saspirella
Vanilla vanella; mmm strawberry, chocolate
Yeah let's call the whole thing off

But ooh, if we call the whole thing off
Then we must part
And ooh, if we ever part, then that might break my heart

So if you go for oysters and I go for ersters
I'll order oysters and cancel the ersters
For we know we need each other so we
Better call the calling off-off
Let's call the whole thing off