Everyone gather 'round now, sing us a song
Just in case by tomorrow it happens he's gone
For two weeks and seven days fair foreign friend
I had this feeling we might never see Steven again

But we thought he was gone
And now he's come back again
Last week it was funny
And now the joke's wearing thin

'Cause everyone knows now
That every night now
Will be Steven's last night in town

He's charmed everyone here, except Tamara Easter
Who later revealed to him her innermost secrets
Won us over with stories about Linda McCartney
Lost points with the ladies for saying
He couldn't love a woman with cellulite

But we thought he was gone
And now he's come back again
Last week it was funny
And now the joke's wearing thin

'Cause everyone knows now
That every night now
Will be Steven's last night in town
We were talking 'bout something, seems like it was funny
And then Steven got quiet, I think Steven was mad
Maybe he wasn't mad, but we felt very strange
In the moment but the moment was passed
And forgotten about

We thought he was gone
And now he's come back again
Last week it was funny
And now the joke's wearing thin

'Cause everyone knows now
That every night now
Will be Steven's last night in town