I wish that Joan of Arc wouldn’t hang around the park
Pronouncing that she won’t get burned again
Her armour’s very shiny and her message is divine
But I wish she’d take a day off now and then

She said it clears your head when you come back from the dead
With your sword as sharp as anything that cuts
And to prove it she bisected three young tourists from Utrecht
Which rapidly displayed a lot of guts

She says we need to
Raise a brand new army
And the flag of France
So proudly she unfurled
And the people that
She hated will be neatly bifurcated
And the British will
No longer rule the world

(She says) it was a mistake to let them burn her at the stake
And she learned a lesson back there in the flames
So she’s going to kill the queen and then she’ll rescue Old Orleans
And it’s really hard to hang around with saints

I think I ought to tell her that the English left in failure
And they don’t go back to France except on hols
But I saw her vivisect a man who wanted to correct her --
And the playground soon resembled Grand Guignol
She says we need to
Raise a brand new army
And she marched us
Round until we couldn’t stand
She says the nation
She abhors will soon be writhing on the floor
And the British will
No longer rule her land

And she’s waiting for the dauphin who will come across the ocean
And knows that God agrees with her complaints
So I’m hoping she’ll ignore my English accent in her war
‘Cause it’s really hard to hang around with saints

She says we need to
Raise a brand new army
And the flag of France
So proudly she unfurled
And the people that
She hated will be neatly bifurcated
And the British will
No longer rule
The British will no longer rule
The British will no longer rule the
World!