Have you seen that dog? I gotta get him back
I had him tied to a tree, but he keeps getting out
He's probably running loose with the bitches
And when I catch him, I'll give him some stitches
Oh I love him so much. Oh that stupid bitch is mine
Errant dog! Errant dog!

They're talking down at the spa, now the word is out
God damn I look like a tool when he goes running around
I'm gonna take him on Court TV
And show the world what he's done to me
I'll drag his ass back home, back where his ass belongs
Errant dog! Errant dog!

He's my everything, he means the world to me
He's my hopes and dreams, fungible property
Sometimes I wonder why I put up with his shit
If I could, I would become a lesbian
I know I said dead or alive, but really dead is fine
Just bring him here
Errant dog! Errant dog!