It said quarter to five
But it was quarter to ass
You thought your plumbing was safe
But your jeans were half-mast
Another coin down the drain
Now that's some change that won’t last

Twenty-five cents at a time
He's taking our souls
Government man can't help
We’re all alone
Are you feeling the breeze?
Did you pull your belt tight?
You know that it's wrong
You know that it's right

Out of the shadows, down the coin goes
Why, oh, why d'you suppose?
(Only the Bandit knows)

Whoa-oh-oh-oh, whoa, whoa-oh-oh-oh
A-S-S C-R-A-C-K Bandit
Whoa-oh-oh-oh, whoa, whoa-oh-oh-oh
A-S-S C-R-A-C-K can't stand it

Coins on the sidewalk, coins in the palm of my hand
Coins in the ass crack or the eyes of a dead man
Drawn from the shadows, quartered by fatе
He's the Ass Crack Bandit, enеmy of the state
Whoa-oh-oh-oh, whoa, whoa-oh-oh-oh
A-S-S C-R-A-C-K Bandit
Whoa-oh-oh-oh, whoa, whoa-oh-oh-oh
A-S-S C-R-A-C-K can't stand it
Whoa-oh-oh-oh, whoa, whoa-oh-oh-oh
A-S-S C-R-A-C-K

He'll give you no quarter, but he’ll... give you *a* quarter
The government just takes your change away
Maybe we’re the crooks, and he's the hero
Maybe he’s the Messiah, who's to say...

Save yourself a coin for the ferryman
Crossing the River Styx of your ass
Wipe the smile from your face, kids, 'cause this ain't funny
And don’t forget your jukebox money!

Whoa-oh-oh-oh, whoa, whoa-oh-oh-oh
A-S-S C-R-A-C-K (Bandit)
Whoa-oh-oh-oh, whoa, whoa-oh-oh-oh
A-S-S C-R-A-C-K (can't stand it)

Can't stand the fear
Can't stand not knowing
Can't stand forever
E·ven·tu·al·ly, we all bend over
In the end, yeah, we all bend over
In the end, yeah, we all bend over

Your brothers, your sisters, they all bend over
Your friends and enemies, they all bend over
You and me, we all bend over
Even the president, we all bend over...