[Segue: Shaggy 2 Dope]
"...Don't forget to fuck yourself now, okay."

[Intro: Violent J]
Rub baby oil on your but tcheeks and slide on the table
Boys and girls, everybody gather around, all in together now
Wheeeeee!
Love you, I love you, (Dance with me, dance with me)
I love you (Shake ya little butt, shake ya butt, come on) I love you
Must kill you, must kill you, must kill you, must kill you

[Verse 1: Violent J]
I'm kind of fat and I sweat a lot
But that's the only bad quinkydinks I got
That, and maybe the whole murdering aspect
But we ain't even really got to that yet
I love people, (Yes) I love everything about them
And that's why I gotta live life without them (Huh?)
I know it don't make any sense to you, but fuck you
This song's about me, exclusively
Murder, murderous, murderation
A murdering mentality without an explanation
I'm Mr. Happy and I ride a bike (Ching!)
I ain't got a seat, I just sit on the pipe thing
I'll whistle, I sing, I'll pet your poodle (Come here)
I'll twist and squeeze your neck like a wet noodle
Cause I'm so happy I'll stab your ass
And lay down next to you, dead on the grass
And say
[Pre-Chorus: Shaggy 2 Dope]
"Oh it feels so good, every time I murder I get happy!"

[Chorus: Violent J]
I'm happy, happy, happiest
I'm happy, happy, happiest
I'm happy, happy, happiest
I'm happy, happy, happiest
I'll murder, murder, murder you
I'll murder, murder, murder you
I'll murder, murder, murder you
I'll murder, murder, murder you

[Verse 2: Violent J]
I love you, so hand me your neck (Come on)
Let me teach you about love and respect
Respect the fact that I love to kill
Wait a minute ya'll I gotta take my pill
"Zanoffs, it works. I'm down to only 3 people a day"
My victims, I give 'em love and care
I don't wanna get blood everywhere (Uh-uh)
I don't use a chainsaw, or a butcher knife
That's so '90s, (Heh heh heh) get it right
I never mutilate or chop my loves (Uh-uh)
All I really need is a pair of gloves
Or maybe a car, I'll run 'em down with it
I know that can be messy, but the birds'll get it (Yeah)
Don't you see that I love you? Idiots
I'm Mr. Happy, I'm all about fun
Now get in the pit and try to kill someone!
[Pre-Chorus: Shaggy 2 Dope]
"Oh it feels so good, every time I murder I get happy!"

[Chorus: Violent J]
I'm happy, happy, happiest (Love you)
I'm happy, happy, happiest (I love you)
I'm happy, happy, happiest (I love you)
I'm happy, happy, happiest (I love you) (Come on!)
I'll murder, murder, murder you (I must kill you)
I'll murder, murder, murder you (I must kill you)
I'll murder, murder, murder you (I must kill you) (Woo!)
I'll murder, murder, murder you (I must kill you) (Ha ha!)

[Verse 3: Violent J & Legz Diamond]
My bike has a basket full of strawberries
I picked them myself, along with apples and cherries
And lemons and oranges and boogers and limes
Plus thers's a Faygo in there, but that's mine
Red flowers, like after you're dead
I plant seeds and grow 'em out the side of your head, come here
I got flowers all over the backyard
In the form of a Joker's Card (Uh-oh)
*Laughing* Feels good, I'm like the Choko of my neighborhood
I'm one of them midnight creeps at Denny's
Talking to myself and licking my pennies
I got a french fry hanging out of my beard
Don't go near that guy, he's weird
You know I'm all good and everything's all right
When you hear this scream in the middle of the night, like this:
[Pre-Chorus: Shaggy 2 Dope]
"Oh it feels so good, every time I murder I get happy!"

[Chorus: Violent J]
I'm happy, happy, happiest (Love you)
I'm happy, happy, happiest (I love you) (Hey!)
I'm happy, happy, happiest (I love you)
I'm happy, happy, happiest (I love you) (Come on!)
(Bitch, have some fun!)
I'll murder, murder, murder you (I must kill you) (Woo!)
I'll murder, murder, murder you (I must kill you)
I'll murder, murder, murder you (I must kill you) (Alright!)
I'll murder, murder, murder you (I must kill you)

[Bridge: Violent J]
I'll fucking kill you, Wooo! Come here you little bitch!
Come on! Everybody, let me cut your neck in half!

[Chorus: Violent J]
I'm happy, happy, happiest (Love you)
I'm happy, happy, happiest (I love you)
I'm happy, happy, happiest (I love you)
I'm happy, happy, happiest (I love you) (Come on!)
I'll murder, murder, murder you (I must kill you)
I'll murder, murder, murder you (I must kill you) (I see you)
I'll murder, murder, murder you (I must kill you) (I see you)
I'll murder, murder, murder you (I must kill you) (You little bitch!)