[Intro: Violent J]
Hey, hey
Uh...I still have a problem
If it's ok with...them
You know
There, them
The Dark Carnival in general
It's the whole stabbin thing again, it's..
You see I...uh

[Verse 1: Violent J]
I stab people like everyday folks
Skinny people any people I chop off their throats
My stabbin's are ninja like very quickly, hey
By the time you feel it I'm like 3 blocks away
I stabbed the newspaper guy and took his little truck
Now I stab people and drive away I'm like puttputtputtputt
I do a show and stab people at the same time, what of that
I stab bear cages security guards in the back of the neck
I love Waffle House, I stab people there
Their so shitty and dumpy they don't even care
I love stabbin' people, Def Leppard, remember them?
Well I cut their fuckin' drummer's arm off, you can ask him
Lyor Cohen, the president of Island
I'm at a business meeting with him looking at him, smiling
I jumped up and stabbed him, but he kicked my ass
17th floor they threw me out through the glass
[Hook]
Help Me(Fuck you)
Fuckin help me(Fuck you)
I need you to help me(Fuck you)
Somebody come and help me(Fuck you)

[Verse 2: Violent J]
Jehovah's Witnesses I swear man I love 'em
They're standing on the porch knockin, I'm waiting above 'em
Puncture wound victims right to my door
Come back mothafucka, ill stab you some more
One time I was a wrestler, I wrestled the best
I got kicked out though, I had a knife in my spandex
I stabbed Tony Schiavone, the commentator guy
Before the match I went to shake his hand but I stabbed him in the eye
I stabbed Norman Smiley in the middle of a match
He was like "What are you doing?" I said fuckin relax
I stabbed him again and again, I jumped out and ran
Everybody chased me, catch me if you can
I tried to stab my own brother, bad news for my health
He twisted my arm back, I ended up stabbing myself
I stab cabby drivers right through the thick glass
Ginsu built to last, can you help me

[Bridge]
Slice em up, Slice em down
Side to side and all around
They don't help, they don't care
Ginsu swingin everywhere
Slice em up, Slice em down
Side to side and all around
They don't help, the don't care
Ginsu swingin everywhere
[Verse 3: Violent J]
I saved up my money and went and saw the Lilith Fair
Started stabbing lesbians, there was millions of them there (lesbos)
I took off my thong and I jumped in the pit
But there wasn't any pit, it was only me and that was it
But so what, I was throwin myself all over the floor
Sarah McLachlan was on stage, I said you fuckin whore
One time I met Slipknot, I stabbed their ass
Stabbed them all in the face, that's why they wear masks
My little newspaper truck runs on a tank of blood
I drive with my lights off all through the neighborhood
But its so hard to sneak because of the muffler
I hate that fucker
I did a song with Three Six Mafia, them guys are the shit
We went to their studio and I started rockin it
After the session they all left up out of there
But I stayed behind and stabbed the engineer

[Bridge: Violent J]
Can you help me(Fuck you)
You gotta help me(Fuck you)
I need you to help me(Fuck you)
Mutha-fuckin help me(Fuck you)
Naw man, fuck you(Fuckyou)
Fuck all of you(Fuck you)
You better fuckin help me(Fuck you)
Help me, help me
[Bridge]
Slice em up, Slice em down
Side to side and all around
They don't help, the don't care
Ginsu swingin everywhere
Slice em up, Slice em down
Side to side and all around
They don't help, they don't care
Ginsu swingin everywhere