[Intro: Violent J]
It was like March or April, fuckin' Libra, fuckin', um, shit

[Verse 1: Violent J]
Taurus, born in 1775
I'm like three hundred and something, but I'm still alive
I used to hang with the original Billy the Kid
You probably think I'm only playing, but I did
My daddies were a two-headed freak show
Momma, a fortune teller, Esmarelda Zella
Anyway they had sex on a ouija board
And I was born the next day, (Boo yah) Violent J
When I was fourteen, I tripped on the train track
And I was crushed right there on the steel rack
I'm out cold, they thought it had fucked me up
I got up and itched my butt, I'm like, "What?"
Everybody tripped and called me the clown devil boy
Child of the witch heifer, whatever
Tied me up, burned me and threw stones
Had a few scrapes and cuts, smokey nuts
After that they started bowing and shit
Praying at me, you know how them primitives get
I said, "Get off my dick, I ain't a savior
I'm what you call a Juggalo, and all I want is my flavor
Four simple things in this bitch, before I die
[Chorus: Shaggy 2 Dope, Violent J]
(Ha ha ha) I want a rusty axe!
(Ho ho ho) I wanna know voodoo
(Ah ah ah) A fat bitch named Bridgett
And a little sip of Faygo, too
'Til I get my shit in this motherfucker, I won't never die!

[Interlude]
Aw, hell yeah
So anyway

[Verse 2: Violent J, Shaggy 2 Dope]
Fifty years pass, all my homies are old ass fucks
I ain't even got hair on my nuts
I left the village in search of my ends
I wrestled alligators, battled terminators
Nothing ever killed me, nothing could harm me
I fought in the Civil War, Yankees army
I walked across enemy lines with a MAC-10
Man, they didn't even have that shit back then
How you just gonna come in my shit and fuck it up?
Well at least make this shit sound real, man, damn!
I walked across enemy lines with a lantern
Steady taking cannon balls, to the balls
The war ended, I traveled the country horseback
Until this fool tried to horsejack
He put his gat to my head and blew my face up
(Pow) It didn't even smear the make-up
I took his gun and put a divot in his neck
Sheriff didn't like it, I got indicted
Eighty-seven long years in the state pen
Until they finally forgot why they put me in
They had to let me go, can't hold me on nothin'
On the way out they're like, "Yo, ain't you like 100 or something?"
I said, "That's right
And I ain't gonna die 'til I get my shit, motherfucker!"
[Chorus: Shaggy 2 Dope, Violent J]
(Ha ha ha) I want a rusty axe!
(Ho ho ho) I wanna know voodoo
(Ah ha ha) A fat bitch named Bridgett
Just a little sip or two
'Til I get my shit in this motherfucker, I won't never die!

[Interlude]
Yeah

[Verse 3: Violent J]
I slept under bridges, lived in the valleys
I climbed up mountains, searched the alleys
More years passed, and I still ain't died
Now I'm in Detroit on the Southwest Side (Whoop, whoop)
My homie has an Impala, blue '67
Last night we hit the road pushing one eleven
I stuck my head out the window, told him floor up the most
And let my nugget ping off a light post
Ha ha ha! Hell yeah, Cuz
Hurts a little bit, but then you get a straight buzz
The world hates me 'cuz of shit like this
They always try to kill me but miss
I know it's odd that my face is forever painted
When I was born, the bitch-ass doctor fainted
My tongue's a little long, I choke people with it
Looks kinda nasty, but chicks dig it
And I told ya my neck can stretch for miles
I sorta look like something from The X-Files
People wanna see me die more than a little bit
But I'm a Juggalo, and as a Juggalo I want my shit!
And I ain't gonna die 'til I get it!
[Chorus: Shaggy 2 Dope, Violent J]
(Ha ha ha) I want a rusty axe!
(Ho ho ho) I wanna know voodoo
(Ah ha ha) A fat bitch named Bridgett
I said Faygo, fuck Mountain Dew
'Til I get my shit in this motherfucker, I won't never die!

[Outro: Violent J]
Die!
Die!
Die!