[Intro: Shaggy 2 Dope]
*pig squeal*
"Come and get it! Woo! We got some fresh vittles for your fat chicken-ass to snack on, bitch! So here, start with a slice of this fresh piggy pie, motherfucker!"

[Verse 1: Violent J]
The first little piggy, his house is made of wood
He lives in a chicken turkey piggy neighborhood
He likes to fuck his sister, and drink his moonshine
A typical redneck filthy fuckin' swine
I rode into town with my axe in my holster
Everybody knows about the wicked piggy roaster
A farmer at the border, he tried to take me out
I drew my axe with the quickness, and cut his chicken feathers out
Walked in the village, and to the piggy's place
He opened up his door, and popped me in the face
And blew me off the porch, and cracked my head in half
But I'm a Juggalo, so it only made me laugh (Hehe)
Forty in hand, I rose from the dead
And threw with all my might, I made a ping noise off his head
Since we out west, I had a little fun
And pulled his fuckin' tongue out the back of his cranium

[Chorus: Violent J]
Three little piggies, to make a piggy pie
There's nothing like the squeal when you hear a piggy die
I might use a gun (No), I might use an axe (Yes)
The carnival's in town, come and get your piggy snacks
[Verse 2: Shaggy 2 Dope]
The second little piggy, his house is made of brick
And this little piggy is a motherfuckin' dick
He sits on his bench and gets all the respect
But if I get a chance, I'm goin' straight for the neck
He walked in the room, and everybody rose
Lopped off bucket chillin' underneath my clothes
First they let the piggy, now you can finally sit
But what this piggy don't know is he's about to get his neck wet
Now I see the bailiff, I'm thinkin' what the fuck?
I can smoke this room before his hearing aid will pick it up
Old-ass man, I let him get away
That tired motherfucker will probably die tomorrow, anyway
Here come the piggy, it's time for my case
His eyes are blood red with a wicked lookin' face
He saw my joker's smile, and sentenced me a dime
So I whacked on the bucket, made it fuckin' rain pork rinds

[Chorus: Violent J]
Three little piggies, to make a piggy pie
There's nothing like the squeal when you hear a piggy die
I might use a gun (No), I might use an axe (Yes)
The carnival's in town, come and get your piggy snacks
Three little piggies, to make a piggy pie
There's nothing like the squeal when you hear a piggy die
I might use a gun (No), I might use an axe (Yes)
The carnival's in town, come and get your piggy snacks
[Verse 3: Violent J]
The last little piggy, his house is made of gold
He lives in a mansion on his own private road
I started walking down it, the guard he told me wait
I bounced off his head and did a Jackie Chan over the gate
'Cause this little piggy must definitely fry
I'ma lop his nugget off and toss it in the sky
And then I watch the moon take the form of the devil
And pull it out the sky, and beat it with a shovel
People in my city, they fightin' for they meals
He sleeps on a mattress stuffed with hundred dollar bills
A richie is the devil, he never will admit it
So I'ma take his money stack and stuff his face with it
Opened up his door, he's sleeping in his bed
I grabbed a brick of gold and laid it upside his head
He begged for his life, I told him it's too late
And took away his dough and watched the devil suffocate
'Cause I need

[Chorus: Violent J]
Three little piggies, to make a piggy pie
There's nothing like the squeal when you hear a piggy die
I might use a gun (No), I might use an axe (Yes)
The carnival's in town, come and get your piggy snacks
Three little piggies, to make a piggy pie
There's nothing like the squeal when you hear a piggy die
I might use a gun (No), I might use an axe (Yes)
The carnival's in town, come and get your piggy snacks
Three little piggies, to make a piggy pie
There's nothing like the squeal when you hear a piggy die
I might use a gun (No), I might use an axe (Yes)
The carnival's in town, come and get your piggy snacks
Three little piggies, to make a piggy pie
There's nothing like the squeal when you hear a piggy die
I might use a gun (No), I might use an axe (Yes)
The carnival's in town, come and get your piggy snacks
[Skit: Shaggy 2 Dope, Legz Diamond, Violent J, Capitol Punishment]
*ring*
Hotline
H-hello?
What up?
What's up? I'm not sure that I wanna live anymore, that's what's up
Hold on!
[?]
[?]
[?] El
Hello?
I, I need someone to talk to
Call your mom
My mother died last year
Serves her right, bitch! Ha ha ha ha. I'm just playin', fuck nuts. Listen, whenever you're feelin' low, just page me and I'll call ya
You will?
Sure. I'll call you a nerdy bitch for botherin' me! Now, don't blow your fuckin' head off
Why not? Who cares if I do?
The poor guy who's gotta clean that shit up. If you're gonna do it, do it outside or somethin'!
You think I won't really do it, don't ya?
Honestly, I could give a rat's ass
You think I won't, huh? You think I'm kiddin'? You think I'm-
Do it! Do it, fucker! Bring me the gun! I'll fuckin' do it for ya!
*gunshot*
Hello? Hello? Are you there?
Hello?
I knew you wouldn't do it, you scary bitch!